Stay-at-Home Mom Wants 1 Day of Childcare a Week, but Husband Says She Doesn’t Need It

A first-time mom turned to Reddit after a tense clash with her husband over childcare and her need for a break, saying she’d hit her limit after a year of nonstop parenting.

In her post, she shared that she wanted their 1-year-old daughter to start daycare or, at the very least, have a few hours of outside help each week. That time, she explained, would allow her to look for work and take care of her own basic needs.

Since their daughter was born in October 2024, she wrote, she has been the sole caregiver. “I do all feedings, naps, soothing, activities, medical appointments, errands, and laundry,” she explained, adding that she is also responsible for every household task on top of full-time parenting.

Her husband, she said, is out of the house from 6:30 a.m. to 7 p.m., which leaves her managing “all cleaning, home maintenance, scheduling, groceries, bills, family trip planning, and 6 hours of weekly meal prep.” She added that she also takes care of the family dog.

Before becoming a mom, she had a full-time job, but she was laid off shortly before giving birth. She kept about $75,000 in a separate savings account when they merged finances, but that balance has been steadily shrinking as she pays for groceries and preps weekly meals for her husband.

She’s been actively job-hunting since June, but even interviewing has been difficult. She explained that every interview requires her to drive “45 minutes to his office so he can watch our daughter only for that exact hour,” a setup that makes an already stressful process feel nearly unmanageable.

After their daughter’s first birthday, she told her husband she needed daycare or at least four to eight hours of childcare support each week. His response stunned her: “What are you even going to do with that time?”

She wrote that she felt burned out, unappreciated, and baffled that such a modest request led to so much pushback—especially since she had offered to pay for childcare out of her own savings.

The mom worried that she would “never be able to properly interview/job search unless I have some real time of my own,” and asked the Reddit community if she was wrong to be upset. She reminded readers that the same forum had supported her previously when her husband “was badgering me for eating a hash brown during my pregnancy.”

Reddit users rallied around her. One commenter pointed out that her husband has “an equal responsibility, time and financial, to care for his child,” and added that it isn’t ideal for a toddler to spend time with only one caregiver. The commenter also emphasized that their daughter “really needs to be socialized.”

Another commenter encouraged her to look into Mother’s Day Out programs, saying that, in their experience, it was “good for her to be around other children” and also helped the family build friendships.

Others were more blunt in their advice. “Go look at daycares. He can be involved in the process or not but it’s happening,” one person wrote. “Sounds like he’d prefer you not find work, perhaps so he doesn’t have to share household duties. Too bad, so sad. Go get the job you want.”

They added that, given how much unpaid labor she’s contributed, “His savings better have dwindled by an equal amount over the past year since you’ve been providing free daycare, cleaning and catering.”