Wife Giving Husband the Silent Treatment Because He Won’t Reject Best Man Role After She Was ‘Cut’ from Bridal Party

A 30-year-old man says he’s questioning his decision to remain his best friend’s best man after his wife began ignoring him — all because she was removed from the wedding party.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum, the man explained that his wife, 28, feels he should have stepped down once the bride and groom decided she wouldn’t be included.

“My choice to remain [the] best man has only hurt my wife’s feelings even more,” he wrote. “She feels that because she was cut out, I should have been too.”

The couple has been close with the groom, 30, for about a decade. Because the wedding is described as “more traditional,” women won’t be included as groomsmen — but the man says his wife was repeatedly told she would be asked to be a bridesmaid instead.

That’s why the final wedding party list hit so hard. When it arrived, his wife realized she wasn’t on it at all and would attend only as a guest. The man added that there was no warning conversation beforehand, which made the exclusion feel even more personal.

He says his wife is especially hurt because she’s actually closer to the groom than the bride — though she’s also friendly with the bride — and the repeated promises led her to believe her role was a given. In her eyes, it wasn’t just a change in plans; it felt like a message about how much the couple values their relationship with her.

The husband says he understands why she’s upset and has tried to support her through it, but she’s still struggling to move on. Wanting clarity, he spoke with the groom, who said the bride had to cut the bridesmaid list down significantly and could only include the few people closest to her. According to the man, the bride and groom insisted it wasn’t about a lack of care — just logistics.

Still, the wife believes her husband should step down in solidarity.

The man admits the situation has created tension at home, and he’s frustrated by the silent treatment. He argues that while the bride and groom may have handled things poorly, he sees their decision as understandable — and he doesn’t want to sacrifice his best man role over it. At the same time, he worries his wife now feels he’s choosing his friend over her.

Redditors largely saw fault on multiple sides. Many said the bride and groom should have spoken to the wife beforehand and never should have made repeated promises unless they were certain they could follow through. Others argued that the husband stepping down would be a clear way to show his wife that her feelings come first — and that she deserves a direct apology, not just an explanation.

Whatever the “right” move is, commenters agreed on one point: the dynamic between the couples likely won’t return to what it was before.

“Your wife also now knows she is not as valued to them as they are to her,” the top comment reads. “There will most likely be a permanent rift now between [the bride and groom] and your wife. You’re now stuck in the middle. You’re in a no-win situation.”