Wife of 20 Years Issues Ultimatum: Husband’s Parents Must Move Out or She’ll Divorce

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after a major conflict with her in-laws put her marriage in jeopardy. She asked if she was wrong for telling her husband that his parents needed to move out—or she would file for divorce.

She explained that her husband’s parents, ages 78 and 80, have been living with them for four years. At first, she supported the arrangement since it gave them more time with her daughter.

But problems began with her mother-in-law, who often made cutting remarks. “She constantly makes disrespectful comments about my shopping habits, my clothes, like wearing shorts around my house or a swimsuit in our swimming pool,” she wrote.

She tried to ignore it, but eventually the comments wore her down. One incident stuck out: her mother-in-law questioned why her name was on the house deed, given that her husband earned more. Her husband defended her, but the tension remained. She said her mother-in-law also grew upset when they bought a new Mercedes to replace her old car.

Money became another sensitive topic. “I don’t discuss our finances with her because it’s none of her business,” she explained.

Despite the strain, the couple continued to provide full support for his parents. “We don’t charge them rent, we pay all the bills and their cell phones; they only help with some groceries,” she said.

Her breaking point came after a dispute about their pets’ feeding schedule. The woman said her mother-in-law twisted her words, making it sound like she was ordering them to take over the responsibility. “I finally snapped,” she admitted, telling her that if they continued living together, she would separate from her husband.

When her husband got home, she laid down an ultimatum: “I told him his parents need to find another place to live, or we would divorce and sell the house. He agreed with me that they need to go.”

Even though her husband supported her, she admitted feeling guilty. She explained that rent in their area averages about $3,000, which his parents cannot afford. If they moved farther away, it would limit time with their grandchild, and their health issues would make traveling difficult.

“I feel terrible about that, but I can’t live like this anymore,” she wrote, ending her post with the question: “So, AITAH?”

In an edit, she added that her in-laws “do not pay for anything, they’re included in my cellphone plan too. They buy groceries and pay for their car.” She also emphasized the strength of her marriage, noting, “My husband and I have been married for 20 years.”

One commenter reassured her, writing, “NTA. There can’t be two queens in a hive. Perhaps they can get into some low income senior housing close to your house if you [give] them a little time.”

She responded that this was not the first time the issue had come up. “There was an issue before too which I suggested they move out, and then they said they will once their car is paid off,” she wrote. That car, she added, “is 3 years old now. I’m not sure how I put up with it but I’m not waiting for another 6 months. I’m hoping they’ll find a place to live in 3 months.”