Wife Says Her Husband Expects Her to Do All Housework Since She Left Her Job — Even Though She Still Contributes Financially

A woman says she’s becoming increasingly worried about how her husband has been treating her since she left work five months ago to prioritize her mental health.

Posting on the community forum Mumsnet, she explained that her partner now seems to view her as household staff — and expects her to handle every chore simply because she isn’t currently employed.

“My partner has a full-time job,” she wrote, contrasting it with her being out of work. “But I’ve been contributing exactly the same as when I had a job as I had savings — if anything I pay more than my partner.”

She says that despite her continuing to contribute financially, the division of labor at home has shifted sharply.

“Since I have no job he does nothing now and says I have to do it all,” she said. “I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing and shopping.”

Even when she’s unwell or exhausted, she claims he still expects everything to be done — and criticizes her if it isn’t.

“I wasn’t well and didn’t tidy as much, and he made me feel awful about it,” she wrote. “He hasn’t made a cup of tea since I left my job. I was ill last week and he just watched me do everything on the two days he was off.”

She also described what feels like a dramatic change in his attitude overall.

“He’s been speaking to me horribly,” she noted. “He’s a totally different person outside — kind and nice to people, always helping people.”

Unsure whether she was being unreasonable for not wanting to shoulder all the housework, she asked other Mumsnet users for their perspectives.

One commenter focused less on chores and more on his behavior: “If my husband didn’t work I’d expect him to do all the housework, but your issue is more how he treats you. He sounds vile.”

Another pointed to the finances: “If you are still putting in 50:50 on finances then housework is still 50:50.”

A third urged her to take steps toward independence: “Get a new job ASAP, anything, and use your savings to get out of your domestic situation.”