Woman Accused of Not Prioritizing Her Marriage After Refusing to Cancel a Girls’ Night Out

A woman is questioning her choice after sticking with a girls’ night out instead of spending an unexpected evening at home with her husband.

She shared the situation on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K. site Mumsnet.com, where users often turn for advice on everyday dilemmas.

In her post, the original poster (OP) said that her 33-year-old husband has been working “crazy hours” for the last three or four months as he pushes for a promotion. While it’s been tough, she wrote that she’s accepted the long hours because “it’s not forever.”

Recently, the couple had planned a date night. But on the morning of the outing, her husband canceled, telling her he’d need to work late. Annoyed but determined not to waste the evening, she said she “ended up convincing a friend to go out for drinks” instead.

Later that day, however, her husband came home at around 7 p.m., hoping to surprise her with an unexpected free evening together. By then, the OP had already arranged to meet her friend, who had set off on a train into the city.

When she told her husband that her friend was already on her way, he pushed her to back out of the plan. According to the OP, he said things like, “Go on — come up with an excuse,” and, “It’s been ages since we last spent time together.”

Despite his pleas, she chose to keep her commitment to her friend. Afterward, when she told her mother what had happened, her mom said she “should have prioritized my husband and marriage,” leaving the OP unsure whether she’d made the right call.

Commenters on the thread overwhelmingly supported her decision. Many argued that canceling on a friend who had already traveled to meet her would have been unfair.

“Not unreasonable! I’d be fuming if I was the friend who was canceled on when I’m already on my way,” one person wrote.

Another commenter agreed, adding, “I wouldn’t have canceled on my friend. Your friend stepped up last minute and got on a train to do something with you, so to cancel would have been mean.”

That same commenter admitted they might feel a bit guilty that their partner’s nice gesture didn’t work out, but added that their own significant other “wouldn’t want me to cancel on a friend in this situation either.”

“You can’t cancel if she’s already on her way … that’s awful,” another user said, echoing the general consensus that honoring the friend’s effort was the right move — even if it meant missing a rare free evening with her husband.