Woman Accused of ‘Ruining It for the Kids’ After Telling Family She Doesn’t Want to Host Christmas 

A 43-year-old woman has decided she’s no longer opening her home for Christmas after seven straight years of footing the entire bill while her relatives show up “empty-handed.”

Posting on Mumsnet, the original poster (OP) explained that her house has become the default venue because she has the biggest dining room. Every year, she says she spends “a fortune” on food and drink so the whole family can celebrate together.

Despite that, almost no one contributes. Her sister typically turns up with just a pack of bread rolls, while her brother and the rest of the family bring nothing at all to help with costs.

“Last year, I suggested we rotate hosting, or at least that everyone chips in for food. The reaction was unbelievable,” she wrote. “I was told that because I ‘earn the most’ and have ‘the nice house,’ it’s my job to host, and that ‘tradition is tradition.’ My mum even said it would be ‘selfish’ to break the family routine.”

When she tried to raise the issue again for this year, her sister told her not to “make such a big deal” if she was worried about the expense, and still didn’t offer to help cook or organize anything. According to the OP, her sister prefers to sit on her phone all day instead of helping with Christmas dinner.

Fed up, the OP decided she no longer wanted to host and suggested they all go out for a pub Christmas lunch instead. Her family rejected the idea, insisting that “Christmas at the pub isn’t the same,” and accused her of “ruining it for the kids” by refusing to host at her home.

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to finally put my foot down and say if no one else wants to host, then they’re welcome to do their own thing?” she asked.

“I’m confused about why this is suddenly my moral responsibility every year when I didn’t even volunteer in the first place,” she added. “Am I missing something here or is this totally unreasonable on their part?”

The post drew hundreds of replies, with most commenters backing her decision not to host unless things change.

“Your family are cheeky f——,” one person wrote. “Stand your ground OP! If they want you to host and keep talking about tradition, then they need to be prepared to pay an equal share of the cost of keeping the tradition going.”

Another commenter urged her not to give in. “Please don’t cave in to family pressure or a guilt pile on, it’s your Christmas too,” they said. “You are a saint for putting up with your selfish family for 7 years. Who the hell turns up to a fully catered Christmas with nothing or thinks a packet of bread rolls is a suitable contribution?”

They added that the family’s lack of understanding showed “what they really think of you,” especially after the OP clearly said she didn’t want to host this year.

A third commenter suggested a short-term compromise, noting that it might be difficult to book a pub lunch at this stage so close to Christmas.

“I’m with you 100% OP, but unfortunately, I think you might struggle to get a pub lunch booked on Xmas Day at this stage (we booked in September!),” they wrote. “Can I suggest a compromise this year where if Christmas is ‘no big deal,’ you have lunch with your immediate family and invite the rest round in the evening for drinks and a light buffet or something? That will help to set expectations for a new ‘tradition’ in future years that doesn’t involve you doing all the work and shouldering all the cost!”