Woman at Wit’s End After Learning Mother-in-Law Keeps Son Up Hours Past His Naptime So She Can Sleep

A mom who works full-time is contemplating quitting her job — just to avoid relying on her mother-in-law for childcare.

In an anonymous Reddit post, the woman explains that she and her 65-year-old mother-in-law “have never been close, and in recent years our relationship has grown more strained.”

She notes that both she and her husband work full-time in the office, and since her own parents live out of state, they often depend on his mom to help with the kids.

“We have been asking and paying MIL to come watch our kids one day a week,” she writes. “I have arranged childcare the other four days and the schedule is perfect…unless someone messes with it.”

Her mother-in-law, who never worked outside the home and was a stay-at-home mom until her own children grew up, “actively complains about watching my children,” the poster says, and often tries to “switch days.”

“She is aware by switching days she is inconveniencing the other family members (who have their other responsibilities). I have asked in my life to help, and my one sitter I have secured is unable to watch my kids any other days due to her school schedule. It is emotionally exhausting, and every week I brace for impact when she comes to my home,” she writes.

The situation came to a head last week when the mother-in-law deliberately kept her 1-year-old son three hours past his morning nap time so he would fall asleep at the same time as the 3-year-old — allowing her to nap herself. “My poor baby was overtired and losing it come dinner time because he was getting only one nap a day, which he isn’t ready for yet,” she says, noting it also “explained why he was waking up more at night and therefore keeping both my husband and I up.”

When she confronted her mother-in-law, she “got mad,” “left the house while I was putting down my son, returned, and went downstairs to nap.”

“So instead of helping me, I put down my son, fed my daughter lunch, put her down for her nap, and then barely made it out the door to make it to work on time, while she slept on my couch,” the mom writes. “When I went to inform her I was leaving (because someone has to be awake for the baby), she did not speak to me and rolled her eyes.”

Later that night, the mother-in-law opened an alcoholic drink, explaining she “needed something other than water.” The woman asked her husband to speak with his mother, thinking the situation had been resolved — until the next day, when the mother-in-law showed up to watch the children with a man she had been seeing, without asking permission.

“To say I was stunned into silence is an understatement,” she writes. “I immediately went into the back room to call my husband and confirm he did not know (he did not), and then went back over and stayed a half hour late because I truly felt conflicted. Do I stay home, just call out of work? I honestly felt like she doubled down from the last week in testing boundaries and pushing me.”

Now, the mom is seriously considering leaving her job, explaining, “It has been a battle to get here with her constantly fighting about watching the kids.”

“I don’t even know how to approach this without screaming. My husband said he would handle it, but I think at this point I am done with her watching them since I clearly cannot trust her to respect my home and me as a parent,” she adds.

Other Reddit users sided with her, with one writing, “I feel like it’s possible she keeps getting worse on purpose so that you’ll fire her. She doesn’t want to watch the kids, but if she gets fired instead of quitting, then she gets to play the victim (in her mind).”

The woman replied, suggesting the Redditor might be right.

“Because she would probably love to say that she tried her hardest or ‘did everything for us’ and that ‘we weren’t grateful,'” she responded. “I don’t intend on telling her she is fired from today. I just will be telling her I don’t need her anymore. Even if I have to stay home for a couple Tuesdays to make it a smoother transition.”