Woman Chooses Baby Name to Honor Late Dad, but Mom Says It ‘Snubs’ Her Half-Siblings

A woman turned to the Reddit community for support after a heartfelt disagreement with her mother over family naming traditions. She shared that her father passed away before she was born, and her mother chose a name to honor him.

“My dad died when my mom was pregnant with me,” she explains. “They hadn’t finalized a name for me when he passed, so my mom chose to give me a name with the same initial as his first name and from his culture.”

She noted that her dad was Irish, and her mom wanted her “to carry that part of him with me always,” so she gave her an Irish name—“say he was Rory (fake names) and she named me Roisin.”

Things changed when her mom remarried and expanded the family. “When I was 10 my mom remarried, and when I was 11 she had the first of my half-siblings,” the woman writes. Her mom’s new husband admired the original naming tradition and suggested continuing it with their children.

“Mom didn’t want to leave me out, so she asked if I’d like to add Irish R names into the mix for any half-siblings I would have,” she recalls. However, she wasn’t comfortable with the idea.

“I told her she didn’t need to do it and I didn’t want that because I liked it being for me and dad,” she explains. Her mom was initially disappointed but ultimately respected her daughter’s wishes and “never asked me again.”

Now, years later, the woman is married and has just welcomed her first child. She says her husband brought up the idea of continuing the naming tradition, asking if she’d like to use those names for their children.

“When my husband and I were expecting and talking names, he asked if I’d like to use R Irish names for some of our children and at least for our first,” she shares. They decided to honor that connection, naming their baby in a way that reflected the same link she had with her dad.

But instead of joy, the decision sparked tension with her mom just a week after the baby was born. “My mom told me she was upset that I had used it when I hadn’t wanted her to do it for my half-siblings,” she reveals. Her mom questioned why she had once said it was only for her and her dad, yet chose to pass it on to her child.

The woman tried to explain that this was different. “I told her it was different because it was continuing with my own children and dad’s grandchildren, so it made more sense than continuing it with half-siblings who have a different dad,” she explains. But her mom felt hurt by that distinction.

“Mom said she wanted to do it to include me, and she hated me being the only differently named person. She felt like it was a snub to my siblings,” the woman writes. The debate has left her wondering if she did something wrong in setting boundaries about the tradition when she was younger.

She clarifies that “this is just an initial thing,” and she and her child don’t share the same full name as her late father. “It’s not like we’re Riley, Rylee, and Rilee or a Michael, Michelle similar. It’s literally just one initial,” she emphasizes.

One Reddit commenter voiced what many were thinking, writing, “Your mom is weird. Her naming one of her children with another man with the same FI as her dead husband doesn’t make any sense. And like you said, your dad’s first grandchild. Well done and CONGRATULATIONS.”

The poster agreed with the sentiment, saying that to her, her mom’s reaction feels confusing and misplaced. “At that point she saw it more as naming the kids the same initial as me,” she reflects. “But I don’t understand why it had to be something I could never do with my own children.”

She adds that her mom’s reaction reveals something important about the past. “It also tells me she never truly accepted that I didn’t want my half-siblings to have matching initials to me,” the woman admits.