Woman Defends Banning Her Nephew-in-Law from Thanksgiving Dinner Over Past Rudeness, Sparking Drama

After her grandmother died — the longtime host of the family’s holiday meals — a woman decided to keep the tradition going herself. But when she sent out Thanksgiving invitations, one person was intentionally left off the list, and it quickly sparked a family fight.

In a post on Reddit, the woman said her grandmother’s passing left “a huge hole” in their celebrations. Wanting to bring everyone together, she created a group chat and invited relatives from both sides of the family. The first person she contacted was her brother-in-law, her late sister’s husband, describing him as someone who had always been good to her sister.

Still, she chose not to invite one relative by marriage: her nephew-in-law, Jack.

She explained the decision came from Jack’s behavior at Christmas Eve two years earlier, when the family was gathered at her grandmother’s home. According to her, he was “incredibly rude” and disregarded the family’s traditions.

She recalled that Jack helped himself to a full plate before the meal officially began — not just appetizers, but dishes like bean casserole, roast beef, and potato casserole. In her grandmother’s home, she said, everyone waited until grace was said before starting dinner.

Jack didn’t just ignore that expectation, she wrote — he disrupted it. She said he belched during the prayer and then cursed at her grandmother, who was hosting. Afterward, she claimed he didn’t help clean up, leaving others upset.

Because of that incident, she decided Jack would not be welcomed at future holiday gatherings. She emphasized that her niece and great-nephew were still invited and that her choice wasn’t meant to punish them. “Jack is not welcome because of his actions on Christmas Eve 2 years ago,” she wrote.

Her niece — Jack’s wife — didn’t take it well. The woman said she received an angry text accusing her of being unreasonable for inviting her stepdad while excluding her husband, along with a string of insults.

Reddit commenters were split. Some sympathized with her, but others felt the way she handled it set the stage for conflict. One user argued that banning Jack without warning clashed with the spirit of honoring her grandmother’s legacy. They acknowledged Jack’s past rudeness but questioned why she invited his wife and child without discussing it first, saying the situation seemed designed to cause drama.

The woman stood firm. She replied that she invited her niece and her son because she loves them and genuinely wants them there. She added that her niece had been present during the Christmas Eve incident and saw the family’s reaction firsthand. To her, the backlash shouldn’t have been surprising: “The fact that nobody except her actually wants him around should not be a surprise.”