Woman Discovers Boyfriend’s Shocking ‘List of Things That Bug’ Him About Her: ‘It Feels Gross’

What began as a low-key weekend of trip planning took a sharp turn for one woman when she stumbled onto something she can’t quite shake.

In a post on Reddit, the 27-year-old wrote that she and her 29-year-old boyfriend have been together for a little over two years and usually split their time between each other’s apartments. While searching for flights for an upcoming trip, her tablet died — so she borrowed his iPad to keep going.

“He told me to use whatever, he even gave me the passcode, no big deal,” she wrote.

But when she opened Notes to jot down itinerary ideas, the first note at the top made her freeze: “Stuff that gets on my nerves (her).”

Even though she knew she probably shouldn’t, she clicked it.

Inside was a bulleted list — some items silly, others painful. “It was a bulleted list of little things,” she wrote, including: “chews ice like a raccoon,” “says ‘we should totally’ and never follows through,” “over explains jokes,” “puts half full water glasses everywhere,” “asks the same question twice,” “baby voice when she’s tired,” and “leaves cabinet doors open.”

But a few entries hit harder, like “needs reassurance for everything” and “acts sad when I ask for alone time.”

She said there were roughly 25 items total, some dating back to early in the relationship and others more recent. Reading it felt, in her words, like “watching someone pick me apart under a microscope.”

What made it worse was recognizing a few things he’d joked about openly — like the ice chewing. Seeing those same quirks recorded privately didn’t feel playful anymore; it felt like a running file of complaints.

She didn’t bring it up right away. Embarrassed and overwhelmed, she tried to act normal for the rest of the day. But later that night, she asked him directly: “Why do you have a note about me being annoying?”

He went quiet, then told her it wasn’t meant to be cruel. According to him, his therapist suggested writing down annoyances so he wouldn’t “bottle things up and then explode.” The idea, he said, was to write what bothered him, sit with it, and decide whether it was worth raising — or whether he was just being nitpicky.

He said he usually rereads the notes later, realizes he was being petty, and deletes them. This one, he claimed, was old — he’d “forgot this one existed” and hadn’t looked at it in months.

He apologized, offered to delete it immediately, and insisted it was a coping tool — not a “hate list.”

But for her, the explanation didn’t make the feeling go away. The woman wrote that it still “feels gross.” Since finding it, she can’t stop thinking about the idea that while she was simply living her life, he was mentally tracking her behavior. Everyday moments now feel loaded, and even being tired leaves her self-conscious about the “baby voice” he’d written down.

She ended her post wondering whether she was overreacting — or whether the note revealed a quiet resentment she hadn’t seen coming.