A child’s birthday is usually all about happiness — friends, family, and a celebration that feels safe and comfortable for the kid at the center of it all. Parents put real effort into planning these moments, trying to match the day to their child’s needs and personality.
That’s why one mom says she felt shocked and betrayed after what started as a wonderful birthday weekend for her son took an unexpected turn.
“On (Saturday) we celebrated my sons bday and my husband and I had a party for him with all his friends and our families,” the Reddit user wrote. “It was a blast, and everything turned out perfect!”
But the next day, the situation changed.
She explained that her mother-in-law asked to “borrow” the kids for a bit — her son, and then also her 8-month-old daughter — with the idea that she’d take them to the boy’s favorite indoor playground while the mom stayed behind to clean up after the party.
“She texted me today and asked if she could also borrow my daughter (8 month old) to also take her so I could stay behind and clean the mess from the party,” she wrote. “I thought, wow yes that would be helpful right !??”
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(731x458:733x460):format(webp)/kid-birthday-party-121124-63c904cc31db49aa8bdceead5b519ae5.jpg)
What she didn’t know, she said, was that the outing wasn’t just a quick playground trip. According to her post, her sister-in-law had arranged a separate birthday party there — and invited a group of people the parents didn’t know.
“Little did I know she took them to the indoor playground because my sister in law planned a party for my son and invited all her friends and their kids that I don’t even know or have ever met!! My son only knew 1 kid out of the bunch that went,” she wrote. “I probably only personally met 2 out of the 15 people that went.”
The mom said the part that hurt most was feeling misled.
“I am so devastated at the fact that my MIL was not honest with my husband and I from the start,” she added.
She also noted there’s already tension with her sister-in-law — the two aren’t currently on speaking terms — but she had still invited her to the family party the day before in an effort to “keep the peace.”
Instead, she felt the surprise gathering crossed a line, especially because her son is on the autism spectrum and does best with thoughtful, controlled social situations.
“I’m so disappointed and disgusted that they would throw my son a birthday party with a bunch of strangers that he didn’t know!” she wrote.
Photos from the surprise event made her even more upset. In particular, she said she saw images of unfamiliar people holding her baby daughter — something she never would have agreed to.
“Now I’m seeing all these pictures of strangers holding my baby girl as well,” she wrote. “It just makes me feel like a horrible mother knowing I didn’t have control over their safety with other strangers!!!”
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(999x0:1001x2):format(webp)/three-coworkers-argue-103025-adfb1bdc457f4d3e82d7b38b556cd163.jpg)
She acknowledged that the kids seemed happy and received gifts, but said the way the gathering was arranged felt intrusive and inappropriate.
Afterward, she said her husband confronted his mom. The mother-in-law apologized and admitted she was wrong. The couple also canceled plans for a surprise party they had been organizing for the mother-in-law, saying the trust in the relationship had been damaged. They decided to cut off the sister-in-law entirely.
In the comments, many readers backed the mom’s reaction and said they would have felt the same way.
“Those are YOUR babies,” one person wrote. “Very valid feeling like you didn’t have control of their safety.”
Another said it would have been a breaking point for them, adding that they wouldn’t allow future unsupervised time — and wouldn’t invite the sister-in-law again, regardless of pressure from other family members.
