Woman Fears Family Backlash for Taking a 3-Week Trip 11 Days After Her Dad’s Heart Surgery

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after being overwhelmed with guilt about a long-awaited vacation she had already postponed once.

In her post, she explained that she and one of her best friends had organized a three-week getaway, saying, “we planned it for months, booked tickets, and there were no issues until a few weeks before the trip.”

Just days before she was originally meant to leave, she learned that her father needed heart bypass surgery — news that completely upended her plans. “My original departure date was only a few days before the surgery,” she wrote, adding that she ultimately chose to delay the trip so she would now leave “11 days after his operation.”

As the new departure date approached, her anxiety only grew stronger. “I’m feeling incredibly guilty about going,” she admitted, noting that doctors estimated her dad would need about a month to recover and “he might not even be home from the hospital yet by the time I depart.”

Family responsibilities at home were weighing on her, too. She said she has two much younger siblings who depend heavily on their father, especially for school pick-ups and drop-offs. “My stepmom can’t cover that because of her work schedule,” she wrote, and while their mother might be able to help, she confessed, “I’m not even sure if that’s realistic or doable.”

Cultural expectations added another layer of pressure. “Culturally (Arab family), there’s an expectation that I stay close to home in situations like this,” she explained. She felt torn between that expectation and her plans, saying, “It’s making me feel like the one time he truly needs me, I’m choosing to leave.”

On top of everything, she came down with the flu, which meant she couldn’t safely visit her father in the hospital. “I haven’t been able to tell him in person that I didn’t cancel the trip — only postponed it,” she wrote, explaining that he still believed she wasn’t going at all.

Before his surgery, she had told him she might postpone the trip, but “the vibe was definitely disapproval and worry.”

A close friend she trusted encouraged her not to cancel a second time. She said he felt that “it shouldn’t be an issue since I’m leaving 11 days after the surgery,” and that if complications came up, she could reassess then. He reminded her not to “assume the worst,” something she admitted she was finding difficult.

At the same time, she didn’t want to disappoint the friend she was traveling with, who had originally expected a full three-week trip together. “I feel bad for my friend,” she said, noting that because of work, her friend “couldn’t postpone” her own dates. By shifting her departure, she added, “I would be spending a bit less than a week with her.”

Despite all the complications, the woman felt she was at a breaking point and needed time away. “I feel like I need this trip right now,” she wrote, wondering whether going would make her selfish or if she had “already done what I reasonably could by postponing.”

Many commenters reassured her that she wasn’t doing anything wrong. One wrote, “NTA. Don’t feel bad about going and don’t let people guilt you into cancelling.”

Another person suggested that the best path forward was communication rather than guilt, commenting, “NAH. Give your father a call… and come to a decision,” and adding that the situation with her siblings was “mostly irrelevant” in the long run.