Woman Fears She’ll Lose Her Husband If She Speaks Up About Wanting His Nephew to Move Out of Their House

A woman says she has reached the end of her patience after her husband’s nephew moved into their home — but she worries that confronting the situation could put her marriage at risk.

The woman shared her story on the U.K. community forum Mumsnet, explaining that her husband had previously agreed to act as a guarantor for his nephew’s rental home. When the nephew stopped paying rent in January 2025, the couple were left covering roughly $12,000 in missed payments.

The situation escalated when the nephew eventually moved in with them. Although the arrangement has eased some financial pressure, the original poster (OP) said the emotional toll has been overwhelming.

“It’s been five months, and he won’t work, doesn’t help out, sends money to his girlfriend — but not towards food shopping,” she wrote. “I work long and odd hours, and he never leaves the house. Even taking a shower feels like hard work because he’s always here, and I feel uncomfortable.”

She described working until 4 a.m. on New Year’s Day, sleeping only briefly before starting another job at 7 a.m. Despite being exhausted, she said she couldn’t rest because her nephew was loudly talking on the phone and gaming on his computer.

“I am normally such an upbeat person, and this is really getting me down,” she admitted.

The OP added that she feels unable to raise the issue with her husband, who she says is already stressed and feels a strong sense of loyalty toward his family.

Now, she is considering moving out temporarily until the nephew leaves — but fears that taking such a step could permanently damage her marriage.

“I don’t want to lose my marriage because of someone I’d quite happily never see again,” she wrote, asking fellow users for advice.

In a follow-up comment, the OP shared that the nephew is in his 30s and that his mother has seemingly “washed her hands of him,” leaving her husband to handle the situation. She also noted that the nephew has complained about meals despite receiving free housing and food.

Readers reacted strongly, expressing disbelief at the nephew’s behavior and criticizing what they saw as the husband’s role in enabling it.

“I’m at a complete loss as to why anyone would tolerate this,” one commenter wrote. “You’re letting a 30-year-old man leech off you.”

Another agreed, calling the situation “madness” and insisting the nephew should either get a job and contribute financially — including repaying some of his debt — or move out.

Several commenters also questioned the husband’s priorities, accusing him of disrespecting his wife by allowing the arrangement to continue.

“He’s enabling a grown adult to build debt at your expense while refusing to work,” one user said.

Others urged the OP to take a firm stand, with one bluntly advising her to tell her husband: “Either the nephew goes, or you do.”

“Put your foot down,” another added. “Stand up for yourself.”