A woman shared on Reddit that her boyfriend has repeatedly excluded her from important activities with their mutual friends, leaving her questioning the future of their relationship.
“We’ve always had the same argument about me being left out of activities,” she explained. According to her, her boyfriend often attends dinners or hobbies with their friends but refuses to include her, even when she asks to join.
At first, she said she would let it go because he always had “some convincing reason why he forgot.” But things escalated when she discovered he had committed to a long-anticipated group trip without telling her—and even told their friends she wouldn’t be attending.
The couple has been part of a coed friend group that had been planning this special trip for more than a year. “Last week I found out he confirmed going on a group trip with our mutual friends and told them I couldn’t attend, without even asking me,” she wrote.
Her boyfriend told the group she would be too busy with her new job to take four days off. But when she managed to get her vacation time approved, she said he shut her down, claiming the flights and rental house were already booked.
“When I asked why he left me out he said he figured I couldn’t go anyway with work and declined on my behalf,” she recalled.
When she later spoke with the trip’s host, she learned the group had actually hoped she could come. “She was very upset with him… but since he insisted I wasn’t going, she had to fill the open spots in the house because of cost,” the woman explained.
The situation was even more confusing because the trip was designed for couples. “It’s also weird seeing as how it’s a couples trip and he will be the only one solo. I don’t understand why he would want to go on a couples trip without me?” she wrote.
When confronted, her boyfriend brushed it off, saying it was a “misunderstanding” and that he hadn’t intentionally excluded her.
But this wasn’t the only time she felt left out. She shared that he also joined a fantasy football league with their coed friend group without telling her—even though she had been asking since last year to join.
“Recently he also joined a fantasy football league with our co-ed friend group and didn’t invite me,” she said, adding that “all the women participate with their husbands.” By the time she found out, the league was already full.
“This was the breaking point for me,” she admitted. “I broke down in tears asking why I’m being excluded from the trip and now the league.”
According to her, the confrontation didn’t go well. “He yelled that we don’t need to be glued to each other 24/7 and that I need to get a life,” she wrote. He also told her she was bringing it up too often and needed to “let it go.” The conflict has grown so tense that they are now sleeping in separate rooms.
On Reddit, commenters didn’t hold back. One person wrote, “NTA He wants you to be the one to formally end the relationship. He has already broken up with you in his mind, he just hasn’t said it out loud yet.”
Another added, “Honestly, I’d be questioning why he doesn’t want you included. This pattern doesn’t look like a misunderstanding. It looks intentional.”
