Woman Feels Like an ‘Outsider’ Living Abroad Because Locals Will Speak English and Not Their Native Language to Her

A woman living overseas says her experience has become increasingly frustrating due to how locals treat her when she speaks their language.

Posting to the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, she explained that while she is originally from the U.K., she has lived in her current country for many years. She can speak the local language fluently, though with an accent, but feels she stands out physically as “tall and blond,” while most residents are “smaller and darker.”

She wrote that shop assistants and others often switch to English even when she initiates the conversation in their language. Although she acknowledges they may be excited to practice English or believe they are providing better customer service, she says the constant language switching makes her feel like an outsider.

“I’m absolutely fed up with shop assistants trying to speak English to me after I ask them a question perfectly in the local language,” she said. “Increasingly, it just feels like I’m being reminded that I’m foreign and need to get back in my box.”

She noted that on a few occasions she has asked whether they switched to English because she looked foreign — a comment her local partner has called rude.

When she asked Mumsnet users if she would be wrong to tell people that their attempts feel unnecessary and isolating, replies were mixed.

One commenter encouraged her to not take it personally and avoid letting the situation consume her thoughts. Another suggested she remain polite and continue speaking the local language regardless of how others respond.

“It doesn’t sound like the locals are trying to put you ‘back in your box,’ ” one user wrote. “I think you might be taking it too personally.”

Others advised keeping the interaction positive — continuing in the local language and perhaps complimenting their English in return.