A 23-year-old woman says she gave her longtime partner an ultimatum about marriage, only for him to start questioning their entire relationship.
In a post on Reddit, the woman explained that she and her 25-year-old boyfriend have been together for seven years, living together for the last five.
Last year, she told him that if marriage didn’t happen soon, she would leave. She didn’t want to remain a “forever” girlfriend, especially since the couple agreed early on that marriage was something they both wanted.
“I feel like waiting over seven years to know if you want to marry someone or not is too much,” she wrote, adding that the two also share two children.
She recalled asking him directly: “If he never intended to marry me, why make a whole life with me?”
A few months later, she brought it up again. This time, her boyfriend admitted that “he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me now.”
The response left her feeling betrayed. “I feel so hurt and sad because if he doesn’t wanna marry me, why not just end things instead of giving me false hope?” she wrote.
At the same time, she worries her ultimatum might pressure him into proposing when it’s not something he truly wants. “I also don’t want him to marry me just because I said I’d leave if we don’t,” she added. “I want to talk to him about it, but he shuts me out and says I’m wrong for thinking this way.”
In the comments, she shared more context: she is a stay-at-home mom without a job, car, or driver’s license, which makes leaving even more difficult.
Still, many commenters encouraged her to follow through on her words. “Don’t get married. You’ve already made tough decisions by living together and having two kids at 23. Get a job, your own money, a license, and a car. Otherwise, you’re stuck with no way to support yourself and your children,” one person advised. “This guy isn’t going to marry you. You need to become independent, or you’ll be trapped in a cycle of poverty.”
Another commenter was more direct: “Forced marriages don’t end well.”
In response, the woman said she plans to try one more conversation with her partner. If things don’t change, she’ll reach out to her family for support.
Though she admits it will be difficult “starting from zero again,” she insists she’ll do it for her children so “they can have a happy mom and life.”
