A woman is worried about how her in-laws will react when they discover they weren’t invited to her husband’s birthday celebration.
The original poster shared on Mumsnet that she booked a four-night getaway to celebrate her husband’s 40th birthday, bringing along their children and her own parents. However, she’s now realizing that her mother-in-law and father-in-law might be “upset” about being left out.
“There’s no plan to invite them — I’d rather not go if they did, to be honest! My husband isn’t bothered at all about them being there,” she wrote. “But I’m just not sure if we’ll get any backlash or if they’ll be really hurt.”
The woman explained that her husband has a much easier relationship with her “very easy-going” parents. “My FIL can be quite difficult, and I’m not particularly close to him or my MIL,” she added.
She then asked fellow forum users how they would feel if their daughter-in-law didn’t invite them to a trip celebrating their son’s milestone birthday.
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“I imagine they’ll be very upset — wouldn’t you be? But it’s his birthday, and if he doesn’t want them there, he can tell them the plan,” one commenter wrote.
Another user disagreed sharply, saying, “They would rightly be extremely upset at being excluded from their son’s 40th when your parents are going. There’s no way you don’t think this is selfish behavior.”
A third person commented, “You and your husband have two children. You’re teaching them that this behavior is okay. Don’t be surprised if the same thing happens to you one day.”
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Someone else added, “I would be furious. You say you’re not close to them now, but this is sowing the seeds for many unpleasant years to come. Your husband should realize that. I couldn’t stand my late MIL, but I do wish, now that I’m older, that I had been kinder to her.”
Another user concluded, “If it were just you and your husband, it wouldn’t be a problem — but the fact that you’ve invited your parents and not his is just wrong.”
