A woman is upset that her brother-in-law has to rely on his mom for money, even though his girlfriend earns six figures.
On Monday, Sept. 1, she explained on the UK forum Mumsnet that her brother-in-law runs his own business, which usually does well. But when invoices haven’t been paid yet, he “makes noise” about needing his mom to help him temporarily.
She said he’s been with his girlfriend, who makes six figures, for two years. Lately, they’ve cut back on spending because he’s short on cash, while his girlfriend saves “several thousands” each month.
“Over a few glasses of wine on the weekend, I asked why she wasn’t helping her partner and instead expected MIL [mother-in-law] to step in,” the woman said about the girlfriend. “She said that he can access whatever money he wants if they get married.”
The woman said her brother-in-law’s girlfriend won’t give him a loan until they are married.
“I asked if she would actually marry him and she said she’d marry him tomorrow if he asked, but he doesn’t want to get married,” the woman added. “This is where I’m struggling — I don’t think your MIL has to support him instead of his partner.
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“She usually enjoys a nice lifestyle with him, and it seems unreasonable to go without because he’s having a tough few months,” she said. “At the same time, she shouldn’t have to support someone if she doesn’t want to.”
Responses to the post surprised her, as many people said it’s fair for the girlfriend not to give her brother-in-law money if she doesn’t want to.
“I can’t believe you asked her. It’s none of your business, and she was right to say no,” one person wrote. “They aren’t married, and she’s smart not to bankroll him. She would be even smarter to refuse to marry him until he is financially stable.”
“I think she is right, good for her sticking to her guns,” another person commented. “He won’t put a ring on it, so it’s all her money. If they broke up, she probably wouldn’t get her money back. I wish more women were like this.”
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“She’s right! In her situation, I’d tell my partner to get a second job instead of running to mummy,” someone else added.
“No one has to support your BIL. If his business isn’t going well, he should take a loan or give it up,” another person said. “She’s being smart by keeping their money separate until they marry. If he doesn’t want to marry her, he doesn’t get the benefits marriage brings.”
