A woman says she is “seriously considering” breaking up with her boyfriend after he barely helped plan their vacation to New York City — and then traveled there with friends just before their scheduled trip together.
The 20-year-old from the United Kingdom shared her story on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum. She explained that she and her boyfriend, 21, had agreed earlier this year to take a trip to New York once he finished working as a summer camp counselor in the United States.
From the beginning, she noticed problems.
“Red flag #1 was that the planning fell 100% on me,” she wrote. “I researched and booked and organized our itinerary completely by myself.”
To try to involve him, she asked her boyfriend to suggest some restaurants, but he barely contributed. According to her post, “even he admitted” that he “put very little effort in and did a bad job at that.”
She also offered to pay upfront for the vacation since she already had some U.S. dollars saved. Their budget was $5,000 for both of them, which meant she had to work extra hours over the summer to make sure they had enough money.
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Despite all her effort, she later discovered her boyfriend had gone to New York without her.
“He recently just finished his summer camp counseling job, and is now in NYC with his new friends,” she wrote, noting that these friends “weren’t included” in their original travel plans.
“Our trip is meant to be in two weeks. He is in NYC right now with his new friends from camp,” she added. “These are people he met long after I started booking flights, the hotel, the activities, etc.”
Although her boyfriend told her he would not do any of the activities she had planned for their vacation, she admitted the situation still left her upset.
“He says he isn’t doing any of the activities I planned with them, but this makes me feel really hurt because I spent a lot of time, money, and effort [on] this trip, that he is now enjoying with other people,” she wrote.
Feeling disrespected, she asked Reddit if she was wrong for considering a breakup.
One user said she was not in the wrong and advised her to end the relationship: “You’re too young to be mothering a toddler pretending to be an adult.”
Others suggested she talk to him before making a final decision. “Maybe not a breakup (you are understandably hurt),” one commenter said. “But you really should tell him that this behavior [isn’t] acceptable given you paid upfront, you worked extra hard to sustain the both of you, you planned it all and it was supposed to be a couple vacation.”
