Woman Refuses to Cancel Surgery for Her Sister’s ‘Last-Minute’ Wedding, Leading to Family Tension

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after finding herself torn between her sister’s last-minute wedding plans and her own long-scheduled medical procedure.

In her post, the 26-year-old explained that she comes from a family of four siblings and that tension among them isn’t new. “Our oldest sister ‘Jane’ (29) recently announced her engagement to a man we all knew but no one knew she was dating,” she wrote. “And the only place she announced this was Facebook.”

She discovered the engagement purely by chance. “I ended up logging into my Facebook on a night I couldn’t sleep after getting back from a trip, and seeing Jane and ‘Aaron’s’ (30) status update announcing their engagement,” she recalled.

The surprise wasn’t just the engagement itself — it was the secrecy. No one in the family, not even their parents, had any idea Jane was in a relationship.

Trying to be supportive, she called Jane the next day. “I called Jane to congratulate her and let her know I was slightly confused but still happy for her,” she said. “Jane blew up at me after I expressed my confusion (in a peaceful manner), and we haven’t spoken since.”

When she later spoke to her father about the situation, she hoped for some empathy but was instead told to let it go. “I’ve been informed that ‘this is just how she behaves’ and that I need to ‘suck it up and show up [at the wedding],’” she shared.

After repeated tension, the woman said she’s reached her breaking point. “I really don’t care anymore and neither do my other two siblings,” she admitted.

The situation became even more complicated due to her upcoming surgery, scheduled months in advance and set for the week before her sister’s wedding. “The icing on the cake is that I have an important surgery planned for the week before that will take weeks of recovery, that has been scheduled since the beginning of the year,” she wrote.

She later clarified that the procedure was for “major vision issues that are keeping me from driving and causing major headaches that make it hard to go to work every day.”

Because of that, she said she’s “not willing” to disrupt her recovery for what she described as a “last-minute” and “chaotic” wedding “of two people that can’t be bothered to communicate with anyone.”

She stressed that she isn’t trying to stir up drama, just to honor her own priorities. “I’ve let my family know I’ll do my best to make it, but the plans I’ve made come first, especially after all the planning it took to take off that much time from work,” she wrote.

Despite the lack of communication, she later received an official wedding invitation in the mail. “EDIT (since multiple people have asked) I was invited to the wedding,” she added. “I got an invitation in the mail a week later even though we hadn’t spoken.”

Throughout her post, the woman made it clear that her frustration wasn’t about the wedding itself but about a long pattern of poor communication and disrespect. “The lack of communication has been loud, and I don’t care to unravel the layers of disrespect that have been happening,” she wrote, explaining that prioritizing her surgery is part of setting a long-overdue boundary.

In the comments, Reddit users largely supported her decision. One summed it up by writing, “NTA, but make sure you take stock of how it will affect your relationships in your family. Seems like the one with your sister is already bad so no big loss, but will it change how your parents treat you? I mean, it might not matter, but it doesn’t hurt to really think about the consequences.”