Woman Refuses to Take Daughter’s Friend Home During Her 12-Year-Old’s Birthday Trip. Now the Friend’s Mom Is ‘Trashing’ Her

A woman turned to Reddit’s AITA community to ask if she was in the wrong for not taking her daughter’s friend home early during a trip to New York City to celebrate her daughter’s birthday.

The mother explained that she lives about an hour outside the city and often took her daughter on weekend outings to New York while she was growing up. As her daughter got older, she began inviting friends along — but only after clear ground rules were set and their parents were informed.

“As she got older, she occasionally brought friends,” the woman wrote. “They always know the rules: bring a bag with things for the train, carry your own stuff, stick together, expect lots of walking, and have fun. Phones are fine, but I encourage screen-free activities. I always speak to parents beforehand and emphasize the walking — we sometimes walk 45 minutes or more.”

For her daughter’s 12th birthday, the mom planned a day trip to visit her daughter’s favorite spots, have dinner, and see a show. Her own mother helped cover expenses and joined them for the outing.

“My daughter invited three girls: two longtime friends who know the routine and a new friend, ‘Leah,’” she explained. “I called Leah’s mom, went over the rules, warned her about the walking, and suggested she bring something for the train since the signal is bad. Leah’s mom said she was excited. My daughter also explained expectations.”

However, once the trip began, Leah didn’t seem to enjoy herself. She only brought her phone, got bored when the signal dropped, refused to chat or play games, and complained throughout the day.

“When we arrived, she immediately asked for a cab,” the mom wrote. “My daughter reminded her we walk. As we browsed shops, Leah kept whining and asking for a cab. I stayed patient, offered water and snack breaks, and even suggested the subway to be nice, but she refused when she learned what it was.”

After several hours of sightseeing, the group stopped for dinner at a restaurant with options for everyone, but Leah continued to complain and said she wanted to go home.

“I pulled her aside to check if she was sick or upset; she just said it was boring,” she continued. “I told her we’d be there a few more hours for the show, but if she wanted to leave, she could call her mom.”

Leah called her mother, who then asked the birthday girl’s mom to bring her daughter home — something that would have caused either the woman or her mother to miss the show. The mother explained that her daughter wanted both of them to stay for her special night.

“I explained we wouldn’t head back until after the show,” she said. “Leah’s mom didn’t want to pay for a train ticket or drive. She eventually sent Leah’s dad, who picked her up before the show. Leah stayed crabby through dinner.”

After the incident, Leah’s mother criticized the woman to other parents, though most supported her decision.

“They backed me up, saying they wouldn’t expect me to cut the trip short unless a child was sick or hurt (which I would do),” she wrote. “Now Leah’s mom won’t let her hang out with my daughter.”

At the end of her post, the woman asked if she should have “sucked it up and taken [Leah] home.”

Many Reddit users sided with the mother, arguing that it was unreasonable for Leah’s mom to expect her to abandon the birthday plans.

“A child’s birthday is the one day per year where it’s truly about them and they’re surrounded by people they care about,” one commenter wrote. “I can understand Leah not having a good time, but part of life is learning to suck it up and not make it about her.”

Others agreed that the mom handled it appropriately, noting she had multiple children to look after and the situation wasn’t an emergency.

“You had your own child and other kids to worry about and this wasn’t an emergency,” another user commented. “This is no different than if Leah had stayed the night at your house and wanted to go home at midnight — you’d expect her parents to pick her up, not the host to drive her home.”

Another commenter added that while it’s normal for a kid to be unhappy at a party, it’s not the host’s responsibility to take them home.

“It’s extremely normal, when a kid is unhappy at a birthday party, for their parents to pick them up,” they said. “On no planet would the birthday girl’s mom be expected to leave her own child and other children to return someone else’s kid.”

“Leah was sad, and learned that sometimes the rules won’t flex to her desires,” they concluded. “She learned. Her mom learned. Now they know something new.”