Woman Says Brother-in-Law Is Turning Family Against Her for Skipping One of His Fiancée’s Many Bridal Events

A woman is considering cutting ties with her brother-in-law after his angry reaction to her being unable to attend one of his fiancée’s many bridal events.

On the UK-based forum Mumsnet, she described her brother-in-law as “insufferable” and “entitled,” sharing that he and the bride-to-be have often “screamed” at her and her husband over the phone.

She explained that the couple gave just 11 months’ notice for the overseas wedding, which will cost roughly $2,000 per guest. The celebration includes four bachelor events and two bachelorette parties, with one of each taking place abroad.

“We got married last year, but it was local, and we never expected people to drop everything to attend,” she said. “We know it’s a big ask and an expense. I would have been grateful if someone sent us a card, honestly.”

“They have not once acknowledged the cost for guests and have even told us that if we don’t stay the whole week for the wedding, then we shouldn’t go at all. That goes for all the guests — their entitlement is rather clear now, I think!” she added.

The woman revealed she doesn’t feel comfortable traveling abroad for the wedding due to ongoing fertility struggles but hopes to be pregnant soon. Despite this, the bride-to-be wants her to be one of nine bridesmaids because she served in that role at the bride’s wedding.

Several bachelorette gatherings have been scheduled for the bridesmaids, each about a four-hour drive away. The woman told the bride she would be “supporting from afar” rather than attending.

She also admitted to booking a last-minute vacation that coincided with one of the bridal events, describing it as her “last-ditch attempt” at getting pregnant. She has not shared her fertility issues with her brother-in-law or his fiancée.

“So this is where I’m stuck,” she wrote, noting that the event she would miss is just a casual gathering with wine and dress trying. “I told the bride I’m not attending.”

According to the woman, the bride has not responded, but her brother-in-law called her husband, saying “awful things” about her. “I’ll never forgive him,” she said. “If they had just asked me directly why we booked the vacation, I would have explained everything, rather than calling and screaming at me.”

She wondered whether to let her brother-in-law “turn the whole family against” her and skip the wedding or “bite the bullet and tell them my deeply personal issues,” even though she hasn’t shared them with her own family.

Responses on Mumsnet were split. Many advised honesty about her fertility struggles to prevent conflict, while others suggested skipping the wedding entirely due to the couple’s behavior.

“I wouldn’t have anyone badmouthing me, so I’d be phoning back to tell them to shove their wedding up their a–. You don’t want to be a bridesmaid and you won’t be attending. End of,” one commenter wrote.

Another said, “Don’t agree to something and then book a vacation instead. I get why she is annoyed. Just drop out of being a bridesmaid.”

A third added, “As someone who’s experienced similar with their in-laws, don’t pander to them. F— them. You’ll do it all, and they won’t be grateful; they’ll just want more next time. Take the hit, tell your MIL (hoping she’s not as bad as your BIL!), and ignore the rest of the cfs [cheeky f—ers].”