Woman Says Grown Cousin Showed Up to Family Trip and Expected Everyone Else to Pay for Her: ‘The Last Straw for Me’

A woman is wondering if she handled things the wrong way after confronting her cousin for showing up to a family vacation with no money — and then expecting everyone else to cover her share.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the 26-year-old explained that the trip was meant to be a surprise birthday celebration for her older sister.

“Recently we planned a surprise birthday trip for my older sister to thank her for everything she does for us,” the OP (original poster) wrote, adding that her cousin is also 26.

While they planned the getaway, the two agreed to split costs evenly so the sister wouldn’t have to worry about anything — something the OP said she often does.

“While we were planning the trip, we both agreed we would split the cost of everything equally so my sister wouldn’t have to worry about anything like she usually does,” she wrote. “Cut to the trip, my cousin shows up empty-handed and is asking my sister and I to pay for everything.”

According to the OP, this wasn’t a one-time issue. She claimed her cousin has a habit of joining events without bringing money and then leaning on family to pick up the tab.

“She does this with my sister all the time since they both live together, but her doing this on the trip was the last straw for me,” she wrote. “Everyone in our family babies her because she consistently shows up to places with no money and wants us to believe she makes no money at her job.”

After the trip expenses piled up, the OP said she finally addressed it directly — asking her cousin to reimburse her for her half.

“This morning I finally asked her to pay me back,” she wrote. Her cousin’s response, the OP said, was to accuse her of pretending to be generous. “I shouldn’t be offering to pay for things (I didn’t) and pretending to be kind when I’m not,” the cousin allegedly told her.

The OP then asked readers: “Am I the a—— for asking her to cover her half of the trip whenever she could after giving her months to save her money so she could pay me back?”

Commenters largely sided with the OP, saying she was justified — but also urged her to change how she handles future plans.

“It was a mistake to wait months. It was a mistake to pay for her in the first place. Learn from your mistakes,” one person wrote.

Another advised that if the cousin’s behavior is a known pattern, the solution is to stop enabling it — even if it creates tension.

“If you know this is her pattern, why would you include her? I know she and your sister live together, but moving forward, you wanna plan something you do it yourself,” the commenter said. “Do not include her. You’re not gonna see a penny and you don’t have to follow everyone else in the family by babying her.”

They added one more rule for the future: pay up front, or don’t come.

“And by chance, if you do still wanna include her, she has to give you money before you plan anything — no exceptions,” the same commenter continued. “If she doesn’t, she doesn’t get to go or be a part of it. If you don’t stop this pattern now, you’ll have egg on your face for the rest of your life.”