Woman Says Her Ex-Husband’s Daughters ‘Beg’ to Spend the Night at Her House. Now She’s Called ‘Cruel’ for Refusing to Allow It

A woman took to the AITA subreddit to ask if she was wrong for refusing to let her ex-husband’s daughters stay at her home.

The original poster (OP), 34, explained that she’s known her 40-year-old ex-husband’s two daughters—ages 10 and 13—for six years. The girls lost their mother some time ago. OP and her ex-husband also share a 3-year-old daughter and are currently finalizing their divorce.

According to OP, the couple is working out their own custody arrangement while the divorce is finalized.

“With our custody arrangement, we do every other week,” she wrote. “But since our daughter is only 3, we let her go by whoever she asks for, usually, as she’s confused and doesn’t really understand.”

Recently, OP said her ex-husband dropped off their daughter and mentioned that his two older girls wanted to visit her house, just like their younger sister does.

“I told him no and that if they need something, they can call or text—and if it’s really important, we can schedule a meeting,” she wrote. “He asked why, and I told him that as they’ve said before, I’m not their mom. My schedule revolves around my daughter, not his kids, and I’m not taking care of three kids alone every other week.”

After that conversation, OP began receiving calls and texts from her ex’s family and his late wife’s relatives.

“I’m assuming he told them because they’ve been calling and texting me, saying I was cruel and that just because me and their dad didn’t work out doesn’t mean I can’t take care of them or be around them,” she said. “I told them I’d be happy to do a day out with them once a month from 9 a.m. to maybe 6 p.m. on a weekend, but they hung up on me because I wouldn’t let them stay the night.”

A few days later, OP said her toddler became sick and wanted to come home to her. When she went to pick her up from her ex-husband’s house, the two older girls were waiting with packed bags, asking to stay at her home.

“I told them no, because I wasn’t going to take them to school and make all those stops in the morning,” she explained. “They got upset and started crying, saying I was being mean and that their families were right about me.”

She continued, “I told them they’ve told me many times that I’m not their mother and have said other mean and hurtful things, so I’m not about to make my life harder just to make them happy. My mom agrees and said that even if I did let them stay, she wouldn’t watch them because they’ve been disrespectful to her, too.”

OP concluded her post by asking Reddit whether she was wrong for not allowing the girls to stay overnight.

Many commenters sided with her, saying her decision made sense under the circumstances. One user said OP would only be wrong “if the two girls accepted you as their mom,” adding that the ex-husband might be “pushing them” to behave this way.

“If the two girls had accepted you as their mom, YWBTA. But if they never accepted you and actively disrespected you and your family, then that would be toxic for everyone,” the commenter wrote. “I’d bet your ex is pushing them to do this to punish you or to get some free time.”

Another user sympathized, calling it a “crappy situation” but agreeing OP wasn’t in the wrong.

“If you’re a single woman, it’s hard to take care of three kids, especially with the age range and how young your own child is,” they wrote. “If the kids didn’t call you mom before and were rude, I’d be suspicious about why they suddenly want to stay with you.”

They added that the girls’ sudden interest in visiting might be linked to something practical—like proximity to friends or a nearby park—and speculated that family pressure could also be a factor.

“I think maybe, at most, how you talk to the kids about it might make you a bit of the AH,” the user concluded. “But without knowing how that conversation went, I can’t make that judgment.”