Woman Says Her Friend Is Being Pushy in Attempting to Find Out How Much She’s Spending on a House

A woman looking to buy her first home says she’s had enough of a friend prying into her finances.

Posting on the UK-based forum Mumsnet, she explained that although she hasn’t found the right property yet, she will be receiving some help with the purchase. What bothers her, however, is a friend constantly pressing for details about her salary, budget, and house-hunting plans.

“I know that she wants to buy a house with her partner, but I don’t know her salary, where they are looking, what their budget is — she keeps all that close to her chest,” the woman wrote. “Fine, but then why push me?”

The woman added that another friend openly shared details about their home purchase, including the exact amount they paid, and seemed to expect she would do the same.

“I mentioned this to my first friend and she said, ‘Oh yes, I like it when people are open about things, it’s so much nicer isn’t it than being secretive,’” the woman recalled. “I just smiled and said, ‘Yes, that’s true, but I guess it’s hard when you’re still in the middle of it.’ I even suggested my other friend could be more open now that they’re finished with their process.”

Wondering if she was overreacting, she asked others: “Am I being oversensitive, or would this annoy you too? It feels like a double standard.”

Responses were split. Some said they are comfortable sharing financial details with friends, while others agreed she has every right to keep that information private.

“YANBU [you are not being unreasonable] not to want to discuss financial matters with friends,” one commenter wrote. “Resist your friend’s questions and don’t feel guilty about being irritated. That’s not being ‘secretive.’ But it was inconsistent of you to gossip about your other friend’s finances.”

Another person added: “I wouldn’t share the ins and outs of my business with anyone, whether I was in the middle of it or finished. It’s no one else’s business but mine.”

A third commenter suggested letting it go: “It’s not really a sign of close friendship to hide things, but you clearly understand her digs. If you care about her, forgive it and move on.”