Woman Says Her Husband Is Upset She Chose a Work Event Over a Family Function

A 25-year-old woman says her marriage is under strain after she decided to attend a work function that conflicts with her husband’s family gathering.

In a post on Reddit’s Am I The A—— forum, the woman explained that she works six days a week and is the primary earner in the household, while her 30-year-old husband takes on “small contracts.” She said her company had to reschedule its annual event at the last minute due to a venue change — and the new date landed on the same day as a function with her husband’s family.

She told her husband she planned to join his family after the work event, but he wasn’t satisfied.

“I’ve told him I would meet him there after our work function and he now says it’s unfair and not right that I am going,” she wrote.

The woman said she feels she’s earned the right to attend, noting she’s worked the entire year without taking time off and wants to celebrate with her team. She also acknowledged there’s tension in the background.

“To be fair, it’s his family, and his mom and I haven’t got the best relationship,” she added. “We’ve been better as of late, but he is now threatening divorce because he feels I’m putting my work above him.”

The scheduling issues don’t end there, she said. Her workplace is set to close on the 19th, but her father-in-law is expecting the family to take a vacation from the 17th to the 22nd. She proposed a compromise: she would drive her husband to meet his family on the 17th, then join everyone after the 19th. According to her, her husband refused to go unless she went with him from the start.

“He says my company has messed up all the functions with his family and I can’t see what the problem is,” she wrote. “I understand where he is coming from, but am I not being accommodating. So AITA [am I the a——] ?”

Most commenters sided with the woman, arguing that threatening divorce over a work obligation — especially when she offered to attend as soon as she could — was unfair.

“NTA [not the a——] work functions are part of the employment game,” one person wrote. “You said you’d go after the event is over, which is fair. As for the 19th, his family should have checked if that date actually worked for everyone they wanted to come. He’s prioritizing his family over his wife. Tell him to work on getting a full-time job or file the divorce papers.”

Another commenter echoed that point, saying it was unreasonable to pressure the spouse bringing in steady income to deprioritize her job.

“NTA – it’s not exactly prudent to tell the person keeping the household with a steady income they shouldn’t prioritize their work,” they wrote. “Your husband should be supportive of your efforts, not contradict you. If he has grievances, he can bring them up in a mature way and suggest realistic solutions instead of stomping his foot and threatening divorce.”

A third person suggested the timing of the trip felt intentional and framed the conflict as a bigger question about autonomy and expectations in the relationship.

“NTA. It actually sounds like they scheduled the trip to exclude you,” the commenter wrote. “You are at a crossroads with your husband. Do you want to quit your job and just be available for whatever his family wants or do you want to have a career that you worked for? Because it sounds like they (your husband is included) don’t want you to be independent and have a voice. Good luck with that.”