Woman Says Her ‘Perfect’ Boyfriend Will Only Marry Her If She Accepts an Open Relationship

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after finding herself at a relationship crossroads that forced her to choose between the life she wanted and the partner she cared for.

In her post, she explained that her family had been pushing her toward marriage — pressure she said felt especially intense because she and her long-term boyfriend come from different Asian backgrounds. But when she finally raised the topic seriously with him, the conversation left her shaken.

“I want to make it absolutely clear that my boyfriend was, in every way except one, an incredible partner,” she wrote. She described a relationship that, on the surface, looked deeply supportive: he cooked, cared for her when she was sick, showed affection constantly, and was generous with money. She also said he defended her fiercely, even clashing with his sister on her behalf. “We have a genuinely great life together,” she added.

But there was one issue she said she could never move past.

According to the woman, her boyfriend had always been open about wanting to pursue other women once he became financially stable. She said that expectation lingered throughout their relationship — and when she raised marriage, it surfaced as a dealbreaker.

She wrote that he agreed to marry her, but only on one condition: she would have to accept an open relationship. She added that he also wanted her to date other people, saying it would make him feel less guilty.

While she said he had not cheated, she felt his intentions were clear and non-negotiable. “These were his firm, stated intentions for our future,” she wrote.

The woman said her values didn’t allow for it. “My core value was I can never see you with anyone else while being with me,” she explained, adding that she couldn’t commit to someone who was “guaranteed to seek out other women.”

So she made what she called a painful decision: she ended the relationship and planned to move out.

But she said the breakup didn’t unfold cleanly. She claimed he tried to interfere with her attempts to leave, telling her, “it’s not safe for you to be alone,” and threatening to leave himself — though she said he never followed through. She described an emotionally exhausting pattern, saying he swung between acting indifferent and then bombarding her with messages when she tried to create distance, insisting he loved her too much to let her go.

Even so, she wrestled with doubt. If everything else in their relationship had been strong, was she wrong to walk away? “Am I the AH for refusing the only way he would marry me and insisting on ending a relationship that was otherwise so perfect?” she asked.

In the comments, several Redditors urged her to focus on her safety and stick with her decision. One advised her to leave while he was at work, not disclose her location, and block him. Another commenter warned that he had effectively told her he intended to “upgrade” partners in the future and said she should cut contact entirely.

Others were even more blunt, arguing that his behavior after the breakup — particularly trying to prevent her from moving out — was controlling, and that she should leave immediately and call police if he attempted to physically stop her.