Woman Says Her Unemployed Husband Keeps Complaining That He Has to Take Care of Their Kids While She’s at Work

A woman says her unemployed husband постоянно complains that her work schedule is “inconvenient” for him — and she’s torn between searching for a new role or tuning him out.

She shared her situation on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, where users ask for advice on everyday relationship and family dilemmas. In her post, she explained that her husband is not currently working for “health reasons,” while she works part-time.

According to the woman, their routine currently means her husband takes their children to school “a couple days a week” and looks after them “one weekend day.” But she says he’s been unhappy with that arrangement, repeatedly telling her she should find a job that “fits around school hours” and doesn’t require any weekend work.

“I’m fed up [with] coming home to him moaning that he’s had to look after his own children,” she wrote. She added that during the week, he handles one school drop-off and one pick-up — and otherwise has the rest of the day “to do as he pleases.”

She also said she’s tried reframing it as time he gets to spend with the kids — time she doesn’t get in the same way. “I’ve told him how lucky he is to get to spend this time with [his children]. I don’t get a day with them without him. I would quite like that as I don’t find it stressful,” she wrote.

At the end of her post, she asked other users whether she was being unreasonable to expect her husband to care for their children while she’s at work, adding that if most people agreed she was, she’d look for a job that better suits their family schedule.

In the replies, most commenters sided with her — saying it’s reasonable to expect a partner who’s home during the day to take on school runs and childcare.

“If he’s home all day then, yes, he needs to be doing drop off and pick ups and caring for his own children,” one person wrote. “Instead he expects you to work around school time only so he doesn’t have to do anything. I wouldn’t be putting up with this setup.”

Another commenter questioned what role he’s playing in the household if he’s neither working nor taking on family responsibilities. “Well, he needs to actually contribute to family life. If he can’t work he needs to be caring for the kids/home! If he does neither then what’s the point of him being there?” they wrote.

A third person pointed out what they saw as the logic gap in his demands. “You should get a job around school hours … so the one thing he does is now your job as well? Which makes him completely redundant since he does no chores and doesn’t work,” they wrote, adding that while they sympathized with him being unwell, complaining about the only responsibility he currently has was “rich.”