Woman Says Mother-in-Law Acts Like She’s in ‘Constant Competition’ with Her Own Mom

A woman shared on Reddit that she invited her mother-in-law to stay with her and her husband after the birth of their first child—but the visit quickly turned into what felt like a “constant competition” with her own mother.

She explains that she asked her mother-in-law to stay for two months following the birth. “My own mother was staying with us at the time too, working full time but helping when she could with my postpartum,” she writes.

According to her post, “The whole time mother-in-law was here, she seemed to be in constant competition with my mother, even though she was barely around. Instead of helping, mother-in-law’s routine became all about competing against my mom, doing the opposite of what I asked, not eating regularly because she doesn’t eat leftovers, and ignoring our request to cook just enough for herself each day.”

She adds, “Everything I said would make her feel hurt, and she would act sad all day in the house and call her relatives, acting like my mom and I were torturing her. Every time anything happened, she would feel hurt and tell my husband about it. Meanwhile, my husband was working full time and didn’t get paternity leave, so he didn’t always know what was going on. Even when I told him, he would just say it would be okay.”

The situation, she writes, “just kept escalating.”

“Every morning, she would indirectly ask my husband to bring the baby to her so I could ‘rest’ or clean bottles. I was left with barely any time with my little one,” she says. “I kept trying to talk to my husband and mother-in-law about how limited maternity leave is in the U.S. and how I wanted to spend time with my baby. It fell on deaf ears.”

She continues, “My husband and I were constantly arguing, and he would spend entire days with her. I thought I was giving him time to bond with his mother, but it felt like she was driving a wedge between us.”

Now, a year and a half later, she says the rest of the family has become distant — and she suspects it’s because her mother-in-law spread false stories about her.

“It feels very overwhelming. My husband and I aren’t the kind of people to share our personal business with everyone, so people mostly hear her side of the story,” she writes. “It’s bizarre that someone would go to such lengths to disrupt their own son’s new family. I was really upset with my husband because he didn’t know how to set boundaries, but we’re learning that now, together.”

Other Reddit users have sided with the new mom, with one commenting, “You’re fine, but your MIL is evil. It doesn’t matter why she is the way she is; what matters is not letting her ruin your family and your peace any more than she already has.”