Woman Says She Pretended to Be Asleep to Avoid Conversation with Boyfriend: ‘I Felt Guilty but Also Resentful’

A 25-year-old woman is questioning her choice to pretend to be asleep when her boyfriend wanted to talk about their relationship at 2 a.m.

She shared her story anonymously on Reddit’s AITAH forum, explaining that her boyfriend often wants to have “deep emotional talks” at inconvenient times. Tired of late-night conversations, she decided to act like she was already asleep.

The most recent situation happened after her boyfriend got home from work past midnight. He complained that they “never communicate” and that she doesn’t “open up.”

“I was dead tired and told him I just wanted to sleep, but he insisted we stay up and talk,” she wrote. “So I pretended to be asleep. My phone light was off, my eyes were shut tight, just hoping he’d let it go until morning.”

Instead, she said, he confronted her on the couch, accusing her of avoiding him and saying he deserved “a girlfriend who emotionally shows up.”

“I felt guilty but also resentful,” she admitted. “Now he’s giving me the silent treatment and saying, ‘I don’t care about the relationship anymore.’ But honestly, I just needed sleep. Am I the a——-?”

In the comments, she explained that she wasn’t sure if she was being selfish or if it was reasonable to have a personal “no deep talks after midnight” rule. “I was so tired I felt like nothing good would come out of my mouth anyway,” she added. “If your partner wanted to unpack feelings at 2 a.m., would you actually do it or push it to the next day?”

Most people sided with her, saying it was fair not to want serious conversations in the middle of the night. However, they also suggested that both partners avoid giving each other the silent treatment.

Others encouraged the couple to find a better time for emotional talks. One of the most popular comments read, “I don’t think you should have pretended to sleep, but your boyfriend also shouldn’t keep asking for deep conversations when you’re not ready. The silent treatment is just juvenile.”

Another added: “Schedule a time when you’re both awake and ready to talk. It’s inconsiderate to do this when you’re trying to sleep.”