Woman Says She Wants to Ignore Her Mom’s Dying Wish for Her Diamond Ring to Avoid Leaving Out Her Nieces

A woman is weighing whether to challenge her mother’s dying wish in order to maintain harmony within the family.

On the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, she shared that her grandmother left her mother a diamond ring when she passed away 47 years ago. Her “very old and frail” mother has now expressed that she wants the heirloom to go to a specific niece.

However, the mother has multiple nieces, and those who aren’t chosen could feel hurt regardless of the reasoning.

“For clarity, the Will states that I inherit everything,” the woman explained. “The matter of the ring is verbal instruction from my mom, not explicitly stated in the Will. I don’t want the ring. It holds no sentimental value for me.”

She said she wants to persuade her mom that her plan for the ring is “unfair.”

“Personally, I would like to sell the bloody thing and give the money to charity when the time comes,” she admitted. “But that would also cause an uproar.

“My cousin asked my mother to show her the ring today. Awkward, as she is not the niece that mom intends to bequeath the ring to,” she continued. “I need to have a conversation with my mom. Knowing my mom, she won’t have the courage to explain her wishes to the wider family, and I will get the fallout.”

She added that “over the last few months, I’ve noticed my mom saying one thing to me and another to my cousins. She’s been quite two-faced, and I’ve felt played.”

“Sorry, that turned into a rant. What would you do?” she asked, later revealing in a follow-up comment that the ring is valued at under $1,000.

Responses to her post were split. Some advised selling the ring and distributing the money among the nieces, while others recommended following her mother’s instructions.

“If she wants one niece to have it, then give it to her. Give the others a piece of jewellery each as well,” one person suggested. “It doesn’t have to be worth the same. Jewellery is sentimental—for passing on, not selling.”

Another commenter proposed, “Could your mom make a short video (with help of course), only to be played after her death, that expressed her wishes? She would be assured no one would see it until she’s gone, but it would then be clear that this was not your decision at least?”

A third response offered practical advice: “I think I would just say to your mom that you don’t agree with doing that. So if she wants to pass her ring on to a particular person, then she needs to do it herself while she’s alive, or put it into her will. Otherwise, you will do what you see fit with the ring if you inherit it.”

They added, “That’s what normally happens with inherited things! Your mom doesn’t actually have the right to force you into doing something that will cause so much bad feeling. You are allowed to say no.”