Woman Says Thanksgiving ‘Blew Up’ After Fiancé Hid Her Parents’ Poly Relationship from His Family for Years

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after what she described as a disastrous Thanksgiving, saying she was left “sitting in [her] pajamas, fuming” when she discovered her fiancé had never been honest with his parents about her family.

In her post, she explained that her parents have been in a long-term relationship with their partner, Rose, for most of her life. When she was around 4 years old, her parents introduced Rose as a “friend.” By the time she reached her pre-teen years, they clarified that “they were all together.” It was surprising at first, she said, but she accepted it, and it didn’t really change her daily life.

Rose, she wrote, was deeply involved in her upbringing and present for all of the big milestones, good and bad. Although she knew her family setup wasn’t typical, she said that most of her friends were accepting and that it “didn’t impact me a whole lot socially.”

She shared that she has been with her fiancé for three years and engaged for one. Early in their relationship, she says she explained her parents’ polyamorous relationship to him. According to her, he reacted well, was “cool with it,” and had even spent holidays with her family without any issues, which led her to believe he fully understood and accepted the situation.

Before she met his parents for the first time, she asked him to give them a heads-up about her family structure. She says he later told her that they were “completely fine with it,” and since no one reacted when she casually mentioned Rose, she assumed he had been honest with them.

This year, both families gathered for Thanksgiving at the home she shares with her fiancé. At first, everything seemed normal. But when she stepped away briefly to check on the food and returned, she immediately sensed that “things were noticeably awkward,” noting that everyone except her fiancé seemed uncomfortable. The meal was unusually quiet, and his parents left for their hotel as soon as they finished eating, skipping dessert without explanation.

Confused, she later learned from her mother what had happened. During a casual conversation about an upcoming trip, her fiancé’s mother asked, “Rose is going with you?” When her mother replied “of course,” his parents became visibly unsettled. Her mother then clarified that she, her partner, and Rose were all in a relationship — which, according to the poster, “even further disturbed them.”

Her mother felt hurt, believing her daughter had lied when she said his parents were accepting. The poster emphasized that she had told the truth and realized it was her fiancé who had misled everyone.

Once her parents left, she confronted her fiancé, and the discussion escalated into what she described as “a huge argument.” He eventually admitted that he “didn’t know how to tell them, so he just didn’t,” and had instead told his parents that Rose was her “aunt” who lived with the family to save on rent.

She pressed him on what he thought would happen when her parents behaved naturally around people they believed already knew the truth. While her parents weren’t overly affectionate, she explained that “they act like they’re in a relationship” when they’re in what they consider a safe environment. Rather than taking responsibility, she says he put the blame on his parents for being uncomfortable.

In her view, the situation was largely his fault: “He lied to everyone and made it terrible for everyone.” While she acknowledged that his parents could have handled the news more gracefully, she still felt he was “more so at fault.” She added that he continued to insist “he didn’t do anything wrong.”

In a follow-up comment to another Reddit user, she admitted she wasn’t even sure exactly what his parents were upset about — whether it was the polyamory itself or the shock and embarrassment of the revelation, writing that she didn’t know “if it was just a lot to deal with at once, or if they felt embarrassed for initially being nasty about being confused.”

By the end of her post, she said she felt “confused and lost,” struggling to understand how her fiancé could dismiss her feelings and questioning whether she was “going crazy by being mad at him.”