Woman Secretly Planning to Move Out After Her Wedding. Her Controlling Parents Think She’ll Come Back After the Honeymoon

A 23-year-old woman has turned to Reddit for advice after making a life-changing decision — one she’s kept hidden from her parents.

In a post that quickly drew sympathy online, she described the emotional burden of concealing her plans to move in with her fiancé, a choice she fears her “extremely protective and controlling” parents will reject.

“My parents are extremely protective and controlling,” she wrote. “I’ve never been allowed to have friends over or go to their houses without a parent present.” She said her upbringing felt suffocating, leaving her with little opportunity to develop independence.

Since 2020, she and her 22-year-old fiancé have been quietly saving, putting away half of every paycheck into a separate account. Now, they’re nearly ready to move in together after their wedding.

But her parents have other plans. “They think I should come back to their house after the honeymoon and live with them again,” she explained, adding that their stance is more of an expectation than a suggestion.

She believes part of their resistance stems from comparisons to her brother, who is also 22 and has autism spectrum disorder. “They seem to think that because he needs a LOT of care, I must need the same level of care, which isn’t true,” she wrote. “I have ADHD, but I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

To prove her point, she shared her work history: holding the same home nursing job for four years, working multiple jobs at once during COVID, and completing her education online. “At one point, I worked three jobs at once,” she said.

Despite this, her parents still insist she’s “not ready” for independence. She disagrees, convinced her track record shows otherwise.

Now, with their goal in sight, she’s determined to follow through. “My fiancé and I have a plan, and we’re almost there,” she wrote. “We want to start a family, have a nice wedding, and live our lives without interference from my parents.”

Still, the guilt and fear linger. “Maybe I’m so focused on independence I’m not seeing the big picture,” she admitted, questioning whether secrecy is the right approach.

In a comment, she revealed she has already been moving belongings out quietly. “Only bringing what I’ve paid for and sneaking things to [my fiancé’s] place during ‘sleepovers,’” she said. His family is storing her things until the move, and she compensates them with small payments and “apology treats.”

She fears that telling her parents early could lead to sabotage or emotional manipulation. “I just want to surprise them with the news when we’re ready to move out,” she wrote.

One Reddit user supported her decision to stay silent: “Do not tell them, they will actively try to sabotage you… be prepared to go low or no contact once you are out of the home to protect yourself.”

It’s advice she’s already internalized. “No matter what is said or happens between family and myself, I have to follow the plan or I’ll never leave,” she wrote — a line that captures the mix of heartbreak and determination driving her decision.

With a wedding ahead and a new chapter within reach, she remains focused on building a life with the man she loves — free from control, on her own terms. “I want to enjoy my marriage, my journey for motherhood, my life as an adult,” she said, even if it means letting go of the approval she’s always wanted.