Woman Shares Candid Reaction to Hair Loss After Third Cancer Diagnosis

When 24-year-old Lileas hit record on her phone one afternoon in Maine, she didn’t expect millions of strangers to watch her hair fall out in clumps.

The TikTok, shared with the text overlay “[throwback] to when I lost my hair for the third time,” shows her calmly running her fingers through her hair as it comes away in handfuls — while her brother’s shocked reaction happens just off camera.

“I just honestly thought it was funny,” Lileas tells PEOPLE with a small laugh, reflecting on the video’s unexpected virality. “I’ve never had a big connection to my hair, so whenever I lose it, it’s just something that I get to have fun with.”

She paired the clip with a caption reading, “I wish I had a touching video but I genuinely don’t care at this point. You couldn’t see but my brother watched the whole thing and was wildly unsettled.”

It was the first time her younger brother had witnessed one of her hair loss moments in person — a milestone she hadn’t realized would be so striking to him. “He’s never seen it before,” she explains. “Every time I’ve gone through cancer treatment, he’s been at school or at work, but this time he was home, so I asked, ‘Do you wanna watch?’ and he was like, ‘Okay.’”

For Lileas, who was diagnosed with cancer at 20 and has faced two recurrences since, losing her hair has become a familiar, if still surreal, experience. After what she calls “the last sort of curative treatment” failed, she now focuses on long-term management with weekly treatments.

“I feel pretty good,” she says. “Some days I’m tired, but it doesn’t really affect me too bad.”

By this third round of significant hair loss, her approach had shifted from emotional to matter-of-fact. “The first time I was kind of excited because I always wanted to shave my head,” she recalls.

@lilieatsdirt

I wish I had a touching video but I genuinely don’t care atp #cancer you couldn’t see but my brother watched the whole thing and was wildly unsettled

♬ Jelly Fish Jam – Techno Mix – Da Fokin

“The second time was a bit more emotional, but this past time it was kind of just whatever — I like wearing wigs and they’re fun, so I was excited to get it off my head because when it’s falling out, it gets really itchy.”

Her lighthearted reaction struck a chord online. Thousands of comments poured in from patients, caregivers, and medical workers who found comfort in her openness.

“The ones that really stood out have been people saying it’s refreshing to see someone have a positive outlook,” she tells PEOPLE. “I’ve gotten messages from people who’ve been diagnosed or know someone who has, asking questions and saying it’s nice to see someone not upset.”

Until that moment, Lileas had largely avoided connecting deeply with the cancer community. “I’ve been shying away from it, so I feel like that video helped me take a step in,” she says. “It’s been really nice talking to people who do have the diagnosis.”

One conversation, in particular, has stayed with her. A man whose mother was recently diagnosed asked if she appreciated friends and family shaving their heads in solidarity.

“We ended up talking for a bit, and I told him that for me, I didn’t like when people did it,” she explains. “It would’ve been better if they waited until I finished treatment and then we could cut our hair together, but it was nice to actually have something to say and real advice to give.”

That kind of individualized support, she says, can make all the difference. “Everyone is going to deal with it differently,” she says. “It’s so important to just communicate and ask what you can do to help instead of assuming — even if it feels uncomfortable to bring up.”

For her, those so-called uncomfortable conversations are necessary. “A lot of people are scared to bring it up because it’s something uncomfortable, but for me it’s not uncomfortable at all,” she says. “It’s very much my reality.”

When asked what advice she would give to someone facing cancer for the first time, Lileas speaks with calm certainty. “Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to have bad days,” she says. “I think the reason I can have such good days is because I give myself a break when I need it.”

She admits that while her video may have seemed purely upbeat, it didn’t capture the full picture. “Yeah, I was having fun during it, but I still had bad days about it,” she says. “Just because you see someone having a positive reaction doesn’t make you any less strong for feeling differently.”

The “you’re so strong” narrative doesn’t entirely resonate with her. “I hear it a lot, and I don’t connect with it because I didn’t choose to go through it,” she explains. “People don’t see my bad days — I just don’t post them — so I think it’s important not to compare yourself to someone else going through something tough.”

Whether she’ll share that “other side” with her followers remains to be seen. For now, she’s focusing on the unexpected gift the TikTok gave her: the chance to answer questions, offer guidance, and normalize a process often shrouded in fear.

In the end, her takeaway is simple and deeply human. “You have different reactions and all of them are valid,” she says. “It’s just about being kind — to yourself and to others going through it.”