Woman Shocked After She’s Asked to Bring 5 Different Dishes to a 4-Person Thanksgiving Dinner While Hosts Provide Less

Thanksgiving dinners are often a shared effort, with guests contributing a dish or two. But one woman says a friend’s request has crossed the line from potluck to overburdening.

In a Reddit post, she wrote that she was invited to an early Thanksgiving dinner at a friend’s home about two hours away. The gathering was set to be small — just two couples, no kids.

According to her, the hosts planned to provide a wild turkey (hunted by the husband), gravy, mac and cheese, and deviled eggs.

What surprised her was how much they asked her to bring for a meal serving only four people — especially given the travel.

She said they wanted her to show up with a dozen homemade yeast rolls, a homemade apple pie (specifically requested because they don’t like pumpkin pie), potatoes for twice-baked potatoes, green bean casserole, and sweet potatoes.

Because the hosts were already making gravy, she suggested simplifying things by bringing mashed potatoes instead. She said they rejected the idea, telling her the gravy was only for the turkey.

She also wasn’t thrilled with the menu combination, adding that twice-baked potatoes alongside mac and cheese didn’t sound appealing to her — though she acknowledged it wasn’t her meal plan.

Still, she wondered if she was wrong to feel the expectations were too much. She noted that when she hosts holidays, she typically asks guests for one item, usually a side. And if someone is driving a long distance, she might only ask them to bring drinks.

She added that this wasn’t the first time these friends had asked for an unusually large contribution. At a previous six-person dinner, she was assigned so much food that she ended up declining the invitation.

“We just don’t feel as guests that we should be asked to provide the majority of the food,” she wrote. “At this rate I’d rather stay home and cook our own turkey and have a traditional meal with mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, cranberries, pumpkin pie, etc. Am I being unreasonable?”

Most commenters agreed with her, saying it was rude to expect guests to supply most of the menu — especially homemade items — after a long drive. Some also criticized the hosts for insisting on specific favorites instead of letting guests choose what they felt comfortable bringing.

In an update, the woman said she spoke with her friend and set some boundaries. She told them they’d need to handle the potatoes due to timing, that she would bring Southern-style green beans instead of a casserole she and her husband don’t enjoy, and that the sweet potatoes would be canned yams prepared at the hosts’ house.

After the compromise, she agreed to make the apple pie and the rolls.