Woman Tells Friend She Can’t Bring Dogs to Friendsgiving, Still Wants Her to Bring Food

Hosting loved ones without hurting feelings can be tricky — especially when pets are involved.

A 26-year-old woman shared on Reddit that it was her turn to host Friendsgiving this year, and she put a lot of effort into planning everything, from the seating arrangement to the menu and decorations. One factor weighed heavily on her mind: her 24-year-old friend “Kara,” who has two dogs she insists on bringing everywhere, even though they are not emotional support animals.

The host explained that she’s usually tolerant about the dogs visiting. However, at last year’s Friendsgiving, which was held at another friend’s house, one of Kara’s dogs jumped on the table, stole the entire dish of dressing, and ate it while everyone else was in the living room watching the game. The host didn’t find the incident amusing and decided that in her own home, she wanted to prevent a repeat.

The day before the gathering, she sent a reminder to all her guests with the start time — and a clear note that no pets would be allowed.

According to her post, Kara immediately replied, asking if that rule applied to her dogs. The host confirmed that it did and explained that she didn’t want dog hair near the food, didn’t want the extra responsibility of managing animals while hosting, and wanted to avoid another food disaster. She also noted that several small children would be attending, so she wanted to be extra cautious.

Kara, the woman wrote, became “snarky and upset.” Kara said she had no one to watch the dogs and that they needed to be with her because of their anxiety issues. The host responded that most pets could stay home alone for a few hours and that, while she understood Kara’s concerns, she wasn’t going to change the no-pets rule.

Kara then argued that her dogs are part of her family, that they behave better than many children and adults, and that by banning them, the host was singling her out. She warned that if her dogs weren’t welcome, she wouldn’t attend. The host told her she would be sad if Kara didn’t come but stood firm, reminding her that as the host, it was her call.

The host then asked Kara what she planned to do about the dishes she had agreed to bring — specifically cake and potato salad. She even offered to pick them up herself. Kara refused, saying she had no intention of contributing food if her “family” was not invited.

Frustrated but determined to stick to her boundaries, the host said she simply replied that it was unfortunate and that she wished Kara would be more understanding. She then had to make a last-minute trip to a grocery store across town to replace the dessert and potato salad.

Later, another friend told the host that she could have “handled it more sensitively” and suggested she should have allowed the dogs since “it’s the holidays and it’s not a big deal.” The host disagreed, saying that as the person opening her home, it was a big deal to her and that her rules should be respected.

In an update, she admitted she hadn’t realized the extent of Kara’s reliance on having the dogs with her. She said she assumed, like most people she knows, that Kara could leave her pets at home for a few hours and was surprised to learn that Kara truly brings them almost everywhere.

Commenters on Reddit were largely supportive of her no-dogs boundary but took issue with one specific part: asking Kara about the food after Kara had said she wouldn’t attend.

“You were good until you asked her to still provide food,” one commenter wrote.

Another added, “It was fine to ask her not to bring the dogs. It was not fine to then basically demand she still provide you with food that you just said she wasn’t going to be there to eat. The fact you went into this with any expectation you would get that food is insane.”