Woman Threatens to Break Up with New Boyfriend Because He’s Bad at Washing Dishes

A 34-year-old woman is considering ending her relationship with her boyfriend after just two months due to his poor hygiene habits.

In a post on Reddit’s AITAH forum, the woman explained that she and her 32-year-old boyfriend take turns visiting each other’s homes. She noted that during his last visit to her place, she had to rewash the dishes because he did such a poor job.

After raising the issue, her boyfriend explained that he usually doesn’t wash items by hand at home since he has a dishwasher. However, tensions rose when he failed to properly clean a pot during another visit, even after being shown the correct way to wash it.

“I was flabbergasted! There was no way anyone wouldn’t notice that the pot was not clean,” she said, adding that her boyfriend defended himself by saying he “thought that’s how the pot is supposed to look.”

The woman admitted she couldn’t hold back her frustration.

“I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not, but I won’t tolerate any weaponized incompetence. I prefer breaking up before any guy starts doing that s— to me!” she said. “He froze, went back to the living room, and stayed there staring into the void.”

When she addressed the situation after finishing the dishes, her boyfriend reportedly labeled her threat to end the relationship as “narcissistic.”

The discussion then shifted to a debate about his reliance on the dishwasher at his own house. While the woman apologized for her tone, she stood firm on her words.

“I told him that I shared my feelings coz I cared, I wanted things to work between us, so I was trying to establish a boundary with a consequence (huge one but real and needed),” she explained. “I made it clear that if a man started throwing weaponized incompetence (voluntary or not), I’d prefer leaving the relationship, coz that’s unhealthy.”

Having accused her boyfriend of putting “no effort” into cleaning, the woman turned to the forum for advice.

“AITAH [am I the a—–] for establishing such a boundary early on a matter he considers trivial?” she asked.

Responses warned that staying in the relationship would likely result in her taking on all household chores.

“NTAH [not the a—–] … but you wasted a lot of time and emotional energy trying to talk with this dude. He is not the guy for you,” one commenter wrote. “You would absolutely end up doing ALL the housework, including cooking and grocery shopping. Get out now. He will not change and is clearly far too dense to even grasp the problem. RUN!!”

Another said, “NTA It’s not like he can’t see with his own eyes that the pots and pans are still dirty … And he’s fine without at his house? I hope he never offers to bring anything to the potluck because that’s disgusting.”

A third agreed but noted that communication is also key.

“Wow. You really think this is going to be a great relationship going forward with this as an early sign? Maybe NAH, maybe ESH, but this is more about how terribly you communicate,” they wrote.