A mother took to Reddit to ask whether she was wrong for refusing to allow the younger sibling of one of her daughter’s friends to attend a birthday party.
In her post, the mom explained that her daughter turned 9 in early December and requested a “paint and sip”–style celebration, where the kids would make crafts while drinking “dirty sodas,” or soda mixed with creamer and other non-alcoholic add-ins.
She agreed and allowed her daughter to invite seven friends, including a close friend she called “Brittany” for the story.
The mom said Brittany had been to their house many times, and nearly every visit included Brittany’s 5-year-old sister tagging along. According to the poster, the younger child’s mother never asked for permission, and the situation often left her responsible for entertaining the kindergartener while the older girls played.
“I once mentioned something to her mom, and she said that culturally, it’s normal for them,” the woman wrote. “I made it clear she doesn’t play with the older girls, and she was fine with that. I don’t mind entertaining her, so I’ve let it go.”
For the birthday party, however, the situation changed. The 9-year-old told her mom she did not want the younger sister there. The poster also recalled Brittany once saying she wished her sister didn’t follow her everywhere, which reinforced the decision.
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“The issue with the party is that I won’t have time to entertain a younger child,” the mom explained. Before sending out invitations, she called Brittany’s mother and clarified that the invite was only for Brittany. According to the post, the other mom seemed offended and insisted her youngest would need to come.
“I said I understood if her family did things differently, but this invite was just for Brittany,” she wrote. “If she couldn’t come, let me know.”
Eventually, Brittany’s mom agreed that only her older daughter would attend. But when the day of the party arrived, she showed up with both children.
As they approached the house, the poster said she gently intervened, distracting the 5-year-old with a compliment while reminding the mom when the party would end, even as the younger child was being nudged toward the door.
“I stepped in front and said warmly, ‘We’ll see you later,’” the woman recalled. When the child asked if she could play too, the host explained that the party was just for the big girls and closed the door.
The sleepover went smoothly, but the next morning, Brittany’s mom confronted her during pickup.
“Once Brittany was in the car, her mom told me I was rude and that her youngest cried all night,” the poster wrote. She responded by reminding her of their earlier conversation and saying the younger child needed to learn that she wouldn’t be invited to everything.
The other mom reportedly called her “heartless” and said she couldn’t understand because she only has one child. The poster replied that even if she had more children, they would still be taught that not every event includes everyone.
In the weeks that followed, Brittany’s mother allegedly criticized her to other parents, prompting the woman to ask Reddit if she had truly crossed a line.
Many commenters supported her decision, arguing that she wasn’t obligated to supervise another child during her daughter’s party.
One commenter said the situation felt like an attempt to offload free childcare and expressed sympathy for the younger sibling, noting that it was unfair for a parent to repeatedly place her with people who hadn’t agreed to watch her.
Another commenter questioned the justification that it was “cultural,” saying no culture entitles one child to join all of an older sibling’s social activities and accusing the other mom of taking advantage of the host’s kindness.
