Woman Unsure How Pregnant She Has to Look to Be Offered a Seat on Public Transit After Repeatedly Having to Stand on Long Journeys

A first-time mom is expressing disbelief after repeatedly being denied a seat in public spaces despite being heavily pregnant.

On the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the expectant mother shared that she’s “really shocked and disappointed” by the lack of courtesy on public transit, in waiting rooms, and other busy areas.

She wondered whether this is a widespread issue or something particular to her locality, though she admitted she initially laughed it off in the early stages of her pregnancy.

“At first, from about five months pregnant, I joked about it to DP and family and friends: how pregnant do you have to be before people offer you a seat?” she said. “But I’m now 40 weeks pregnant and not laughing anymore.”

“Basically, I’ve discovered the only chance of being offered a seat is if there’s a woman sitting who has been pregnant herself,” she added. “If it’s all young people or men, you can forget it.”

During a recent train journey, she admitted she was torn between getting off to wait for another train with available seats or attempting to “shame” someone into giving up a spot, as standing for the full ride to the hospital or midwives is unbearable.

“I appreciate maybe there are some people who carry their pregnancy weight in such a way that it’s ambiguous, but I literally look like I’m shoplifting a melon here,” she said.

Responses to her post showed many could relate and offered practical advice, such as speaking up politely or wearing a badge signaling that she needs a seat.

“People can be extremely oblivious and I think that’s got worse — everyone’s staring at their phone,” one commenter wrote. “So you have to say something. Just a polite ‘sorry to disturb, may I have a seat please?’ should be fine.”

“Why is it embarrassing to ask? I’ve asked before because I felt generally unwell, not when I was actually pregnant,” another added.

“Just a general, ‘Would anyone mind giving me their seat, I’m not feeling well?’ Nobody was shamed, I wasn’t embarrassed, three people offered immediately. It’s really not a drama to open your mouth,” they continued.

“I was heavily pregnant in the maternity triage waiting room of all places and there were no seats… three dads looked up at me and pretended not to notice,” another person shared. “My husband angrily told them to get up. Honestly, nothing shocks me anymore.”