Woman Wants to Kick Her Best Friend Out of Their Apartment, Claiming She Feels ‘Used’

A woman turned to the Reddit community for guidance after facing a painful dilemma: should she ask her longtime best friend to move out of their shared apartment?

The 20-year-old explains in her post that she has been living with her friend, whom she calls Ella, for the past three months, along with her sibling and her partner.

“I want to preface by saying that Ella and I have been best friends for years and have always talked about moving in together since the early stages of high school,” she writes. But just a few months into the arrangement, she finds herself frustrated and heartbroken.

Household Chores and Cleaning Conflicts

While Ella reliably pays her share of rent and utilities, the poster says the real problem lies in day-to-day habits. “She rarely picks up after herself, and we have had talks about this but she never seems to listen,” she admits.

Ella may make brief efforts to improve after a conversation, but the change is short-lived. “She does for a few days, but then reverts back to her habits,” the woman explains, adding that old food has even been left in the fridge untouched since move-in day.

Another issue is Ella’s frequent absence. “Ella will be home for at most three days out of the week, but then will stay at her boyfriend’s house the rest of the week,” her roommate shares. She recalls one instance where Ella didn’t come home for over a week, leaving household responsibilities behind.

Even when Ella is home, her roommate describes a shift in energy. “Ella has this sort of chaotic energy with her, and it seems like every time she comes home, we just feel overwhelmed and have to distance ourselves for a little before coming back,” she says.

Strained Conversations and Friendship Concerns

Instead of feeling like a chance to reconnect, conversations with Ella have become repetitive and draining. “It feels like all she talks about is how annoying other people are or the annoying stuff her boyfriend is doing, and we’re honestly just getting sick of the same thing over and over again,” she admits.

“The reason we’re thinking of asking her to move out is simply because, in our opinion, she’s wasting her money,” the poster confesses.

The strain has made her question the friendship she once cherished. “For me, the worst thing is that I feel like we’re not even best friends anymore,” she reveals. Ella now spends more time with her boyfriend and his friends than with her, leaving the poster feeling used.

“I want the best for her, but unfortunately, I don’t think our relationship will get any better if she continues to stay here,” she writes, acknowledging that her concern comes from a place of love rather than resentment.

Still, she struggles with the guilt of potentially asking Ella to leave. “I also don’t know how to tell her,” she admits, turning to Reddit for advice.

Readers were quick to weigh in, pointing out that while Ella’s habits may be frustrating, her personal choices aren’t the poster’s responsibility. One commenter wrote, “You’re her friend, not her mom. She doesn’t have to answer to you about where she is, when she is coming home, etc.”

Another reminded the poster that Ella’s financial choices are ultimately her own. “If she’s paying her rent, and ‘wasting it,’ what’s it to you?” they asked, while still agreeing that shared spaces should be kept clean.

Some even suggested looking on the bright side of Ella’s frequent absences. “As you said, she is wasting her money. That makes it none of your business. You should be glad she’s never there,” one Redditor commented.

Ultimately, the poster is left to consider whether ending this living arrangement might be the only way to preserve the friendship.