When one woman’s thoughtful birthday gesture turned into a costly group outing, she found herself questioning where to draw the line.
In an “Am I The A——?” Reddit post shared on October 1, the 53-year-old original poster (OP) explained that she had offered to take her 56-year-old boyfriend out for a birthday dinner. The couple shares a child together, and both have adult children from previous relationships.
However, her simple plan quickly grew complicated when her boyfriend decided to invite his adult children and their partners — six additional adults — and still expected her to cover the entire bill.
The OP asked the forum whether it would be wrong to pay only for herself, her boyfriend, and their minor child.
Her hesitation, she explained, was financial. “I make half of what he does, and we split bills 50/50 since we live together and have a child,” she wrote. “This dinner would be about half my paycheck.”
The responses were overwhelmingly in her favor. Many Reddit users agreed she shouldn’t be expected to pay for his grown children. “It is never required to pay for another adult,” one commenter noted.
Others pointed out that since the boyfriend was the one who extended the extra invitations, it should be his responsibility to cover those costs. “OP invited her boyfriend for dinner. He decided to invite the entire clown car. Paying for them is 100% on him,” one person wrote. Another echoed the sentiment: “If it was your idea to invite them, maybe different. But he added people to your treat — he should be covering that, not handing you the bill.”
Several commenters also questioned the couple’s financial arrangement overall. “You earn half of what he does but split the bills equally,” one user observed. “You’re already getting the short end of the deal. Why on earth would you pay for meals for his six grown relatives?”
