Woman’s Parents Invite Her Boyfriend Over for Christmas, Help Pay for His Flights. But He Refuses to Buy Them a $15 Gift

Managing expectations around the holidays can be tricky — especially when you’re juggling family dynamics and a relationship.

A 26-year-old woman shared on Reddit that she’s been dating her 25-year-old boyfriend for nearly a year and a half. Last Christmas, he joined her family in New York, and she says her parents and grandparents were generous with gifts.

In the months since, the relationship has shifted. The couple became long-distance after her boyfriend moved out of state for a new job with a salary over $100,000. While she was happy for him, she admitted she wasn’t thrilled about being apart.

With the holidays approaching, spending Christmas together felt especially important to her. Since his family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, she invited him to join her family’s celebration again this year. Her parents even offered to contribute $300 toward his flight so he wouldn’t be alone.

She told him about the offer, and he agreed she could go ahead and book the ticket, saying he’d cover the remaining cost — about $150.

But when she brought up getting her parents a small thank-you gift, the conversation took a turn.

She asked if he’d be willing to contribute $15–$20 toward a shared gift for her father. He declined, telling her he wasn’t planning to buy her parents anything.

She emphasized that she wasn’t trying to control his spending, but said it stung given how much her parents had done — not only helping with the flight, but also offering to take the couple on international trips in the future.

For her, she explained, it wasn’t about the price tag. It was about the message: reciprocity, effort, and respect. She said she felt disappointed because she expected him to want to make a good impression and show appreciation.

She ended her post by asking whether she was being entitled or “a stuck up and privileged snob.”

In the comments, most people sided with her. Many argued that if her parents were contributing to his travel and hosting him, a small gesture of thanks — whether a shared gift, a card, or even treating them to something — was the bare minimum.

One commenter wrote that if someone is being hosted and helped financially, they should express appreciation in some way.

Another was more blunt, saying the refusal to chip in such a small amount after receiving substantial help was a sign he was simply cheap — and that she should be prepared for that to show up again.