A 22-year-old woman turned to Reddit for advice after growing tensions with her family over her lifestyle choices and the activities she enjoys. She explained that she and her family “generally get on very well up until recently,” but things shifted after she began dating her 23-year-old boyfriend.
Since meeting him, she has started doing things she had “always wanted to do but never had anyone to do them with,” such as climbing mountains, camping, and watching meteor showers. She shared that she is “absolutely loving it.”
Her 54-year-old mother, however, has not been supportive. The woman said her mom thinks she and her boyfriend “got too serious too quickly,” despite the couple’s open conversations early on about marriage, children, and their future. Those discussions helped them realize they wanted the same things, and she describes them as “very happy.” Still, her mother “just doesn’t like him.”
She believes part of the tension comes from being out of the house more often. She once invited her mom to go hill walking after buying new boots, but said her mother “never put [in] the effort to join me.”
Her mom is the type who enjoys large family gatherings and showing off closeness on social media, which the woman says she’s fine with. But another source of conflict has been her decision to stop drinking alcohol except on special occasions like “Christmas, birthdays, celebrations etc.”
Her family has “always been big drinkers,” often sharing wine with dinner or during gatherings. After realizing “how unhealthy we were,” she chose to stop, but her decision has been met with mocking comments like, “oh her body is her temple today” and “she’s just being boring like usual,” often coming from her mother and 19-year-old sister.
She admitted that while she tries to brush off the remarks, they still hurt. In recent months, she’s been focusing on healthier habits—eating better, exercising more, and drinking less—but instead of encouragement, she has felt guilt pushed onto her by family members.
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Conflict is something she normally avoids, but after hearing these comments repeatedly, she admitted she “blown up at my family for these unnecessary comments.” Still, nothing has changed.
To protect her peace, she has been spending less time at home and more with her boyfriend and friends who share her outlook on drinking. But this has created another problem—her family now makes her feel guilty for “not spending as much time in the house.”
Feeling caught between her own happiness and her family’s expectations, she turned to Reddit for “outsider perspectives and unbiased opinions.” Many users encouraged her, validating her choices and advising her to distance herself from negativity.
“You do you and stick with those that actually enjoy you for who you are,” one commenter wrote. Another added, “Stepping back should be the response to anyone who treats you this way. They’re making a choice to be mean for no good reason and that choice should have consequences.”
For now, she says she will continue focusing on the activities she enjoys and the healthier lifestyle she has embraced.