Woman Says Her Husband Is Upset Their Daughter Plans to Change Her Last Name After Same-Sex Wedding

A woman is wondering if her husband is wrong for being upset that their daughter plans to change her last name after her same-sex wedding.

On the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the woman shared that her daughter is getting married later this year and intends to take her wife’s last name instead of keeping their family name.

“[Our daughter] is planning on getting married to her wife later [this] year. [She] has said she plans to take her wife’s surname,” the woman wrote.

“[My husband] is upset that she hasn’t kept her own name or gone double-barreled,” the mother added, referring to hyphenating the last name. “He hasn’t said anything, though, just to me.”

The woman asked other Mumsnet users, “What do other people do who have same-sex weddings re: names? Is [my husband] being unreasonable for being upset and not understanding why [our] daughter’s chosen to take her wife’s name?”

In the comments, many readers said that while some same-sex couples keep their own last names, the choice is personal. They emphasized that it’s up to the daughter to decide if she wants to take her wife’s last name.

“I think your husband is being unreasonable because it has nothing to do with him what her new name is,” one person wrote. “It’s a decision between a married couple (no matter what sex they are) and no one else.”

“Perhaps they want a ‘family name’ for if they have children so the child shares a name with both parents?” another commenter suggested. “Stay out of it — if she’s happy with changing her name, that’s all that matters.”

Another reader recommended that the family have a conversation about why their daughter wants to take her wife’s name.

“Is your husband having trouble accepting his daughter having a same-sex marriage? Has your daughter been asked why the couple are choosing her partner’s surname?” the person asked.

“It could lead to a helpful [resolution] if discussed openly,” they continued. “There are several possible reasons, like preferring the sound of the future wife’s name, disliking a [hyphenated] name, or your daughter wanting her marriage to start fresh with a new name.”