Woman Questions Her Decision to Reject a ‘Perfectly Sweet Guy’ for This 1 Reason

A single woman is rethinking what she wants in a relationship after turning down a “perfectly sweet guy” because she didn’t feel any spark with him.

The woman shared her story on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, saying it’s been “so hard to find a flame worth pursuing” during her dating life, including her recent dates with a 27-year-old man.

“To be honest, I’m 23, and I think I’m fairly attractive and don’t have any problem getting dates,” she wrote. “I’ve also been through enough dating experiences to know that I crave intensity and depth.”

“I’ve been on two dates with this guy, and things have been easy so far. He comforts and reassures me when I need it, is more emotionally intelligent than most men I know, yet I don‘t feel a single spark,” she continued.

She described him as more of a close friend than a romantic interest.

“I think he senses it too, so we had the talk today, and I’ve decided not to continue seeing him, explaining the lack of chemistry on my end,” she said. She added, “At what point do you switch from seeking chemistry to compatibility and settle for security and safety?”

The woman admitted that she “never” seems to have chemistry with the “nice ones,” while the relationships with strong chemistry have all “ended badly” for her.

Seeking opinions on her dating choices, she asked other Redditors, “Am I the a—— for rejecting a perfectly sweet guy just because I feel like we don’t have chemistry?”

One reader responded, “You crave chaos and dysfunction,” while another said, “Never ‘settle,’ but you need to examine if the chemistry you enjoy comes from negativity, friction, or conflict. If so, your romantic life is going to be hard.”

A third Redditor suggested, “If choosing partners based on chemistry hasn’t worked out, maybe it’s time to try something different?”

“How exactly do you define chemistry? A feeling of passion? Were you not sexually attracted to this guy?” they added. “Chemistry is temporary. It’s an emotional or physical response that feels exciting, but as you mentioned, it doesn’t mean a relationship will be healthy or even good.”