Bride Wants ‘Small, Intimate’ Wedding, but Her Mother Won’t Stop Inviting Guests to the Celebration

A bride-to-be is facing a growing dilemma — her mother’s ever-expanding wedding guest list.

In a post on Reddit’s wedding drama forum, the woman explained that while she and her fiancé envisioned a small, intimate ceremony, her mother had other ideas entirely.

The couple, both quiet and introverted, hoped for a relaxed event with just close friends and family. But the bride’s Italian family has a long-standing tradition of large weddings — her mother’s own celebration once included more than 500 guests.

Now, her mother seems intent on recreating that same scale. “She’s one of those people who puts down five people when the invitation clearly says two,” the bride wrote.

When the couple floated the idea of a destination wedding, her mom was appalled. “She said the concept of getting married outside of the city was absurd,” the bride shared. “And that a guest list of 100 to 150 just wasn’t enough.”

To make matters worse, the bride has watched her mother personally invite people on the spot — often in front of her. “She’s been telling people to ‘expect an invite’ before we’ve even set a date,” the bride said.

At other times, her mother has tried to run names by her, but the bride worries there’s no end in sight. The situation has escalated so much that relatives have begun offering up their children as potential flower girls and ring bearers.

Despite not having started official planning, the couple now feels pressured. “We’re going to hurt a lot of people’s feelings,” the bride wrote, “because even though my mom has promised them invitations, we just don’t want a huge wedding.”

She added, “Our idea of our wedding is very different from the traditional. Our rule is: we don’t want to meet anyone new.”

To regain some control, the pair are considering a ceremony at a mountain destination about four hours away — hoping that the distance and travel might naturally reduce the guest list.

Commenters urged the bride to set firm boundaries with her mother early on. One user who faced a similar situation advised, “It isn’t their wedding, it isn’t their opportunity to show off what they can afford to do, nor is it their party to host. This is about you and your fiancé — your wedding.”