Grieving Woman Left Heartbroken After Family Forgets Birthday, Her First Since Mom’s Death

A woman recently shared her painful experience on Reddit after her family overlooked her birthday — the first one she celebrated since losing her mother to brain cancer.

The 28-year-old explained that the past year had been the most difficult period of her life. Before her mother’s passing, her mom had asked her father’s sisters to look after her and her brother.

In the time since, the family has struggled to navigate their grief. “My mom’s birthday is in early September, and as it approached, my dad, brother, and I were deeply depressed,” she wrote, adding that they even began learning Portuguese to connect more closely with their mother’s heritage.

Tensions with her father’s side of the family began on Mother’s Day. Her grandmother invited them to celebrate, but the daughter and her brother found it too painful. Afterward, her father texted one of his sisters explaining that while he would visit, his children weren’t ready to participate. That message didn’t sit well with the grandmother, who later called the woman in anger, telling her she needed to “accept that her mom is gone.”

As summer continued, things only grew more strained. During her grandmother’s birthday dinner in late August, the woman was quiet and subdued while dealing with a health scare. Even though she and her brother made an effort to engage, her father later asked relatives to give them space to grieve — especially with their mother’s birthday approaching.

Instead of compassion, one of her aunts, who lives abroad, reacted with hostility. “She blew up, accusing us of ‘cutting off family.’ I tried to explain we just needed time, but she kept blaming us,” the woman recalled.

When her birthday arrived soon after, she said it became a devastating turning point. “It was my first one without my mom. No one from my dad’s side of the family — not my grandma, not my aunts — wished me a happy birthday in the family group chat,” she wrote.

Only her younger cousin, 18, reached out privately with a kind message.

The silence hit her especially hard because she had always been the dependable grandchild — the one who accompanied her grandparents to doctor’s appointments and whose father regularly helped support her grandmother financially. “Seeing the chat silent on my birthday, while knowing they’d instantly post greetings for others, felt like a deliberate, collective punishment for being sad,” she said.

The woman said that was the last straw. “I couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to leave the group chat. They’d never missed my birthday since I was born,” she explained. She ultimately left, believing it was an act of self-preservation.

However, not everyone agreed. “My husband thinks quitting the group was a ‘childish’ move that gives them the reaction they want,” she shared. Even her dad and brother, though sympathetic, advised against it. “They think it shows them they got to me,” she said.

Despite their opinions, she stood by her decision. “I feel like it was a necessary act of self-preservation,” she wrote, turning to Reddit’s AITA community to ask if she was wrong for stepping away from the chat.

One commenter supported her choice: “Honestly, it’s totally understandable that you left the chat. They should have supported you, especially with all you’ve been through. You’re not the one cutting them off — they’re the ones failing to show you the support you deserve.”

The woman responded, admitting how painful it felt to be ignored. “Yes, it was really disappointing,” she said.