A 41-year-old man turned to Reddit’s AITAH [Am I the a——] forum to ask for “a Gen Z perspective” after a 24-year-old coworker confronted him during a meeting.
He explained that although he typically works independently, he had received “requirements” from his coworker before the presentation. While they had “always been friendly and professional,” things took a tense turn during the meeting.
“She had requirements, I had the data — pretty straightforward,” he wrote. “In the meeting, I presented the report and everyone liked it. I applied an analytics technique that she brought up in the requirements meetings.”
After the client portion ended, the man said the coworker publicly questioned him:
“Where did you get the idea for that technique?”
He responded, “You brought it up in our meeting earlier.”
Her reply, according to him, was:
“Well, it would have been nice to get credit for it.”
The exchange “short-circuited [his] brain” and “derailed” the rest of the meeting. He said his younger colleague appeared upset and quickly left, while he was left “processing being called out publicly.”
He admitted he would have given her credit if he had realized it mattered to her. “If I’m being toxic and unreasonable, I’ll happily take the L,” he said, “but I feel like what I did wasn’t malicious and could have been handled in a private conversation. What she did feels juvenile and uncalled for.”
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The man described feeling conflicted afterward, noting that he’s “married to a minority woman business owner” and has tried to empower women in his “boomer-male-dominated workplace.” Still, he said this particular situation made him feel disconnected from his younger coworker.
“I ran through all my options in my head and decided not to say anything to her or anyone in HR or Marketing,” he explained. “If I force an apology, it’ll be clear I’m more confused than sorry. I’ve compartmentalized her as a child in my brain and have been avoiding her.”
He concluded by asking: “Am I dealing with an adolescent who needs a little more life experience, or am I being a stubborn [a——-]?”
The majority of commenters were quick to criticize him for failing to acknowledge his coworker’s contribution and for framing her reaction as generational.
“[You are the a——-]. This is not a generational issue,” one person replied. “You took credit for 100% of a project when you owed 50% to your colleague. Apologize and stop doing it. Give credit where credit is due.”
Another commenter partially sided with him, arguing that his coworker could have handled the situation more privately:
“It wasn’t that deep. She could have easily brought it up privately, but instead she tried to make you lose face as if you were stealing her idea,” they said. “I don’t even think her gender matters here, to be honest. I’d keep my distance — and talk to your manager at the very least.”
