Stay-at-Home Mom Wants to Allow Kids Screen Time, but Dad, Rarely Home, Refuses

A mother is turning to the internet for advice after she and her husband reached a stalemate over how much screen time their teenagers should have.

In her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained that she and her husband are in a “major disagreement” about their kids’ phone use. Her husband believes their teens should be limited to a strict maximum of two hours of screen time per day with no exceptions. OP, however, feels there are plenty of situations where more time on their phones is reasonable.

One of the core issues, she said, is that her husband is away for work two to three weeks out of every month. On top of that, he has weekend hobbies that often take him out of the house, which leaves OP home with the kids “99% of the time.”

Because she’s the parent who is regularly present, OP feels she should be the one to manage screen time in a way that fits their actual day-to-day lives. Her husband disagrees, and the conflict has escalated into long, exhausting arguments.

OP also pointed out that their teenagers are busy and highly involved in extracurricular activities, so they don’t have much free time as it is. On rare slower days, she doesn’t mind if they spend more time on their phones, as long as schoolwork and chores are done. In her view, flexibility makes sense.

Commenters largely sided with OP and said that not all screen time is created equal.

“I would agree with you, if they are busy and active, high screen time makes sense,” one person wrote. “Only thing I would add is that it also depends on what the screen time is for? Playing video games is different than scrolling through TikTok.

‘Documentary vs YouTube of Mr Beast. Take into account what is being consumed as a variable in the calculation of time allotment,’” they added.

Another commenter said that in their home, the person who has to enforce the rules is the one who gets to make them.

“In our house, the person who makes the stringent rules is the one who is responsible for upholding the rules. If he isn’t there to make sure that the rules are being followed, he doesn’t make the rules,” they explained.

“This is absolutely something where I would tell him, we can follow that when you’re home. When you’re not, it is up to my discretion,” they continued. “And when he’s home and starts getting upset about the phone time, tell him that he can take the phones away. Then direct them to him when they complain.”

A third commenter argued that if screen time limits matter that much to OP’s husband, he should be the one to step up and enforce them.

“If it’s important to him then he needs to enforce it himself. He’s not your manager,” they wrote. “He doesn’t get to dictate how you parent the kids while he’s gone the majority of the time. Tell him that it sounds like he needs to be home more so that he can parent his children instead of ordering you around.”