Dad Takes Kids Out of the House Weekly to Give Introverted Mom Space. She Wants More Time, He Tells Her to Take the Car

A father has been giving his wife regular breaks from their kids by taking them out of the house a few times a week — but now he feels those favors have turned into an expectation.

The original poster (OP) shared on Reddit that his wife works part-time from home and is the primary stay-at-home parent for their two children. They live in a very small apartment with “very thin” walls, which can make things feel intense and noisy. He added that his wife has always been “very introverted” and needs more alone time than most people.

To support her, OP explained that once or twice a week he takes the kids out for an hour or two so she can enjoy having the home to herself. She’s always been grateful for this, but a new problem has emerged: she now wants solo time every day, and expects him to drop what he’s doing and leave with the kids whenever she needs space.

He said that while he has agreed to her requests “several times,” even when it’s inconvenient, he’s starting to feel taken for granted. OP also works full-time outside the home and considers their apartment his “decompression space” as well. Sometimes he just wants to sit, relax and watch TV without being told to head out with the kids.

Recently, when his wife again asked him to take the children out so she could have time alone at home, he refused. He told her that what started as a kind gesture had turned into a constant expectation. He suggested that if she needed a break, she was welcome to take the car and find quiet time elsewhere.

His wife argued that this was unfair because she wants to relax at home, not outside. OP replied that it’s his home too, and if she needs quiet, she can be the one to relocate. He said he no longer wants to feel “displaced.” Unsure if he was being unreasonable, he turned to Reddit to ask whether he was in the wrong.

Many commenters sided with OP and felt that his wife’s expectations had gone too far.

“NTA. The expectation she has set is unreasonable… not just for you but for your kids too,” one person wrote. “There is zero reason she can’t go out herself. She’s putting hardship on the entire family by making this demand when the easy answer is she can get away without disrupting everyone else’s downtime/routines.”

They added that it seemed acceptable when the arrangement was occasional, but a daily demand crossed a line.

Another commenter suggested finding a way for her to recharge at home without forcing everyone else to leave.

“NTA. What you were already doing (taking the kids out occasionally so she can relax) is reasonable. Doing this daily is not,” they said. “If she really needs this downtime and you don’t mind watching the kids so she can have it, can you set up a quiet corner of your home for her that’s off limits to the kids? Like let her go in the bedroom and play some white noise or use noise cancelling headphones or something?”

As someone who also feels easily overstimulated, the commenter said they understood the wife’s need for quiet but still felt her current solution was unfair. They added that a larger home might help, though they recognized that’s not always realistic.

A third person encouraged OP to dig deeper and find out whether there’s more going on beneath the surface.

“I would suggest having a more in depth conversation with her. It seems like the being overwhelmed feeling has increased pretty significantly in a very short amount of time,” they wrote. “Is there something else going on? Work stress, friend stress, suffering with depression, feeling stagnant in part of her life?”

They suggested looking at whether specific responsibilities — like endless laundry or feeling unable to keep up with the house — might be contributing to her stress. To them, it sounded like there could be a deeper issue that needs to be talked through, not just a schedule adjustment.